Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Stupid Human Characteristic

Pride. Oh, pride goeth before the fall, I heard somewhere.

I pride myself on my cooking skills. I am a really good cook, as my girthiness will attest. I was raised by a mother who is an excellent cook, who, in turn, was raised by her incredible cook of a mother. Both my mother and my grandmother have (or, in Grandma Greene's case, had) skills in baking that I have yet to attain. I mean, I can bake a mean batch of snickerdoodles, and my cakes are certainly edible. But I have never been able to make a pie crust that was worth the effort it took to make it.

Until today.

Today, I slew my albatross. I conquered my deamon. I succeeded in making a pie crust that holds in its embrace a blueberry pie that will be lovely when it is finally devoured by my now-drooling family.

Here is photographic evidence:

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Lookit that! Isn't it lovely? Is it not tempting you? Don't you wish you could be at my house right now, waiting in anticipation for some of that delicious pie?

Of course you are, you dear thing you.

But why, you ask, quizzical expression on your face, is this worthy of The Stupid? Well, I just looked in my fridge, and lookit what I found on the top shelf, nestled next to the ranch dressing and food-service sized jar of minced garlic:

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That's right. Pre-made pie crusts that I had already paid for. We could have been eating blueberry pie ages ago had I but noticed that I already had pie crusts in the Fridgidaire*, just waiting to be eaten.

Even I, dear reader, am not immune to The Stupid.

Have a great weekend!


*My other grandmother called whatever box-like appliance that kept her food cold a "Fridgidaire," regardless of the brand she had at the time.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The stupid thing I saw today

I love craigslist. It is a pleasure to read and it is a fine way to pass time. I love reading the lunatics' rantings in the "rant and rave" section, and my romantic self loves reading the "missed connection" section, hoping that someone will find love through some fleeting encounter.

I have learned though over the course of the last few weeks that the section with the most entertainment value is "resumes." In my opinion, it is the section with the worst writing. Most resumes posted there are poorly formatted (even by craigslist standards) and the grammar...oy. It is enough to make a word lover weep. Or laugh uproariously.

The stupid resume for today is an exception to that, however. Its formatting is not completely heinous, and the writing is not awful (though I would caution against putting one's references' contact information online). It is the headline that earned its place in The-Stupid Blog:

Very experienced resume!

If I were that resume, I think I might be offended by the disparagement of my character!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Stupid thing I read

I was dispairing this evening, thinking I had enjoyed a stupid-free day, and thus would have nothing to share with [both of] my readers.

But, fear not, dear readers, I did find something.

As I am sure you know, Andrea Yates was acquited by reason of insanity today.

This led me to reacquaint myself with some of the facts of the case, I found myself reading CourtTV's Crime Library which is normally outstanding. And, then, there it was. On page 6. I swear I heard a song from heaven break out, the angels themselves singing "Oh, Happy Day."

Okay, so it wasn't that dramatic, but it is a pretty stupid sentence:

They did not see the forewarning except in hindsight.

Yup. That is what it said. And, so, I have a reason to live another day.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Initial Entry

Iwould imagine the initial blog entry should set the tone for the blog that is to follow. I also imagine that I should lay out my vision of my online publishing career.

This entry will do none of those. And here is why:

I was innocently reading craigslist this afternoon when I discovered a link. Like "Wet Paint" signs, I find myself inexplicably drawn to links, so I clicked through this one and discovered a blog. The blogger made a comment I didn't agree with, so I added a comment. In the process of doing so, I discovered I had a profile and so I followed that link.

Anyway, so I rediscovered our old blog, and decided to see if I can perhaps revive it, maybe with a slightly different theme.

I still want it to have the slightly cynical air of before, but perhaps with a bouquet of bitterness, with a hint of acid on the tongue. Vinegary, I think, is the adjective I am looking for.

I am considering perhaps "Stupid Things I Have Heard/Read/Witnessed Today." The reason for that is because I have discovered that my days are filled with stupid things I hear or read or see, and I think it might be worthwhile to catalogue those things. I think having a place on the internets (this is #5, by the way, for those keeping track at home) where I can rant with fair ease might help me with my attitude when dealing with those aforementioned stupid things. If I begin to view these stupidities as a dispassionate observer, eager to document stupid things for the sake of posterity, as opposed to some set of obstructions between me and my goal, sent by some diety with a very bizarre sense of humor, then perhaps I will begin to look forward to such stupidities with joy as opposed to trepidation.

Or not.

We shall see.