Sunday, December 31, 2006

Liveblogging take 5

Two minutes before the new year, so it's time for my New Year's in New York story: in 1989-90, I lived in NY, and went to see Grace Jones at some club, the name of which escapes me now, in NY for New Years Eve. It was expensive, and sweaty, and I hated it.

That must've been when I developed my hate of New Years Eve.

Liveblogging take 4

Christina Aguliera is amazing! I love this 40’s Andrews Sisters “Boogy Woogy Bugle Boy of Company B” homage. She looks fabulous, sounds fan-freaking-tastic!

Liveblogging take 3

I don't think my kids will ever know why Dick Clark was such an icon.

Liveblogging take 2

My favorite cousin couple, Benji and Heidi, danced an awesome tribute to James Brown, in what appeared to be a Hard Rock Cafe gift shop. Whatever.

But those crazy kids can dance! Mr. Stupid Girl compares Benji to Donald O'Connor, and I must agree. As a couple, they are amazing.

I am happy to see them, and glad that there are only five more minutes before I can switch it to Dick Clark.

Liveblogging take 1

Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve doesn't start for another 30 minutes, so I am watching some monstrosity on Fox.

First up: Toni Braxton. WTF happened to her? I remember listening to "Unbreak my Heart" back in the early 90s, and I totally loved her. But between the "couldn't really be arsed to make an effort at all"-level of lip sync, and the RuPaul-esque make up, I think Toni's time has long past.

Forgive Us

This is from a New York Times article written by Yoko Ono earlier this month. I thought it was an appropriate way to end the old year.

To the people who have also lost loved ones without cause: forgive us for having been unable to stop the tragedy. We pray for the wounds to heal.

To the soldiers of all countries and of all centuries, who were maimed for life, or who lost their lives: forgive us for our misjudgments and what happened as a result of them.

To the civilians who were maimed, or killed, or who lost their family members: forgive us for having been unable to prevent it.

To the people who have been abused and tortured: forgive us for having allowed it to happen.

Know that your loss is our loss.
Know that the physical and mental abuse you have endured will have a lingering effect on our society and the world.
Know that the burden is ours....

[H]ealing is what is urgently needed now in the world.

Let us heal the wounds together.

New Year's Eve Resolution

I admit it: I am a New Year's Eve wuss. Unless I am going to a house party, I would much rather stay home, eat some pork-based hor d'oeuvres, and watch Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. Drunk drivers scare me; drunk drivers en masse freak me right out.

Tonight, I'm a little tired, and going to bed customarily early seems pretty appealing to me. But crashing at 10 would confirm my utter loserness, so, I have decided to liveblog Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. It promises to be the least useful blog of 2006.

Oh, crap. I just remembered Seacrest is on it. Meh... Ah well...check the feed for updates throughout the night, fellow almost-losers!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Awesome parking lot stuff

So, after 4 months, I have finally learned how to move pics off my phone and put them on to my computer. So now I will be incorrigible, probably.


I saw two really cool parking lot things today. One is about an issue I have touched on before, namely, why backing into parking spaces is a bad idea. I can finally illustrate the "your bumper takes up the sidewalk space that was made for walking" idea.

See how the cars that are parked head in are pretty unobtrusive on the pedestrian-designated area? Let me show you just how much of the sidewalk this winner took with a different shot.

See? It's nearly the whole thing. And, since it was a Suburban, he would've been able to see over the cars parked around him without any trouble at all.

My next example of parking lot awesomeness came from my local Publix, where I had to stop in to get stuff (why I felt compelled to add that irrelevancy, I'll know). Anyway, what got my attention initially about this vehicle was its color. It was the brightest blue I have ever seen on a car in my life, with bright yellow-gold trim; it was gorgeous! Oh, and the fact that it was a taxi made it just that much more delicious. So, here it is:

You should know that this Publix has super-wide lanes between its parking spaces, and the store was practically deserted; there were dozens of places for this guy to park adequately.

Dear readers, please don't do the above things when you're parking. It makes others think ill of you.

[I'm shadowing now. I'll be doing that for a little while 'til I make the final leap.]

In case anybody noticed...

Over to the right of the page there, I have been posting Holiday of the Day things. I am bored of it, so, starting today, I am going to be posting Chuck Norris facts.

They're funnier. At least to me.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Did You Know?

The George Lopez show is still on?

I watched it a couple of time, what seems like a decade or so ago. It was cute, but it wasn't like his very funny stand up, so I didn't watch it again.

And, yet, there it is on Channel 2 right now. It's actually a marathon.

Think I'll skip it.

Overstating the Pardon

Fellow native Michigander Gerald Ford died yesterday. It wasn't surprising, or even particularly sad; he was, after all, 93 years old, and in increasingly failing health over the past several years. He was a good and quiet man, rather plain, and really without a whole lot of substance. Which is perfectly fine.

I have always questioned the Common Knowledge that his pardoning of Richard Nixon was a Good Thing for the country, that it somehow healed a rift that was in the nation at the time. I do not believe I agree with that Common Knowledge. In fact, I am beginning to believe that pardoning Nixon was probably at least partly responsible for the current batch of elections scandals that have been popping up.

I think that had Nixon been at least indicted for his role in both Watergate and other associated elections chicanery, it would have perhaps been the necessary spark for immediate, substantive elections financing reform. As it stands now, 30+ years later, we have McCain-Feingold, which is okay, but only when enforced by an FEC willing to bare its teeth, which is the polar opposite of the FEC we have now.

I do not necessarily believe Ford's congressional testimony that he and Haig did not make any deals viz The Pardon. I am convinced that conversations between Nixon's people and Ford's people took place about The Pardon. But, in the grand scheme of things, I don't think that matters all that much.

So, RIP Mr. President.

Monday, December 25, 2006

The kids' first Midnight Mass

It's been a long time since I've gone to midnight mass, so I thought it would be nice to go to a friend's church to enjoy one.

When I was younger, my parents sent us to various mainline protestant churches, and one set of grandparents was Catholic. When I was an older child, I became LDS. So my childhood experiences of church were of very conservative-type services.

Our children, however, are growing up in a non-denom, contemporary evangelical tradition. "Liturgy" is not a word in their vocabulary. "Responsive reading?" Nope, they've never heard of it.

Until tonight.

About 10 minutes or so into the service, I realized I forgot to inform them about the incense. And then when it was time for communion, I forgot to inform them about the real wine (our church uses grape juice). I got a lot of dirty looks from down the row of seats. Whoopsie!

It was very cool, and I am so glad we went. I had forgotten how good Bach sounds in a church.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

A couple of real-life Secret Santas

How cool is this?

A woman hopped aboard buses, greeted passengers with "Merry Christmas" and handed each an envelope containing a card and a $50 bill before stepping off and repeating the process on another bus.

She did it so quickly that descriptions of the woman varied among surprised Spokane Transit Authority passengers on several routes Thursday, The Spokesman-Review newspaper reported Friday.

Well, my family was treated to a very cool anonymous gift yesterday, and I cannot begin to describe how incredible it felt that someone gave something to us, expecting no thanks or other recognition. Whomever gave that gift to our family has truly learned the meaning of Christmas, and I thank him/her/them from the bottom of my very warm heart!

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Stupid sex!

Before I start, I really need to make a confession for full disclosure: I met my husband online. I have found the internet has done wonders for my social life, because, in case you've missed it, I'm not terribly social really. That said, I never sought out the company of anybody who was jailbait. Interestingly, I never found it hard to resist the lure of the underaged. Why is it that so many are attracted to those who are so much younger than them? Is it a control thing?

Anyway, on to the funny.

So, with a tip o' the hat to brittney over at Nashville is Talking, I present to you: Amber Forever.

Have fun, and in case I don't get back, have a merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Virgil Goode

If you have not yet heard of Virgil Goode, rest assured, you will. And not in the "wow, he's an amazing statesman" kind of way, but rather in the "Santorum" kind of way.

Read the letter he sent to his constituents
. Scintillating, non?

Do some of you really believe that the reason there is a Muslim who was elected to the US Congress is because of illegal immigration? And do you really think that Muslims pose a threat to "our" values and traditional beliefs? If so, is what you're smoking legal?


Blogger Beta, or whatever the hell you're calling yourself today, don't you think it would've been a nice thing to tell the folks using you that you were changing stuff around? It pissed me off not a little bit to be greeted with a "We are unable to complete your request" message when I tried to log on.

You are of the Devil, and I hate you. I am so sorry I was such a whore for the labels. I should have known better than to be attracted to the shiny.


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

One of those days...

I have had it with the throngs of the massively stupid. The next person who says/writes something stupid that I happen to see will be very, very sorry.

Well, I really can't back up that check, but I'll want to do something that will make them very, very sorry, rest assured!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Stupid John McCain

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Republicans, please run this clown.

You see, McCain wants to hold bloggers (or at least those that allow public profiles) responsible somehow for knowing whether commenters on their sites are registered sex offenders, and, if so, remove those posts from their sites, or face the consequences (up to $300,000 worth of consequences).

How, exactly, is someone supposed to determine which posters are sex offenders? Should there be a "if you are a sex offender, please check here"-type question on all online profiles? And, it's not as if the internet is full of people who tell the truth about their sexual exploits (I know; I did online dating for a long, long time. Finding a truthful person was a challenge, to say the least).

It's a stupid idea from a man who is losing all association with reality.

Stupid "War on Christmas"

There is no war on Christmas. Full stop. Christians aren't being persecuted in the United States. At all. All those who believe they are, quitcherbitchin. I am tired of hearing about it. You have no evidence, only rumors and friend of a friend of a friend of your Aunt Mary's hairdresser's sister-in-law's neighbor's friend stories to confirm this country is going to hell in a secular handbasket. Get over all ready.

So, here is a really good Slate article attempting to explain why "conservatives" hate the phrase "happy holidays." I put "conservatives" in quotation marks, because I do not think an actual conservative would give a rip what salutation they were greeted with. I think this new breed of Persecution-Complex Conservatives really do take offense at absolutely everything. I find them mockworthy.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Wait, that's not working like we planned

Apparently, the company building the fence between California and Mexico has been fined for using [drumroll please] illegal aliens.

Is there anything left for the executive branch of this government to fuck up? (And sorry for dropping the f-bomb, but jebus Chrysler, these people are the very definition of inept. I think I've developed TMJ from all the jaw-dropping I've been doing over the past six years.)

[On the downlow, I ink-thay I will be eaving-lay ogger-Bl eta-Bay oon-say. I am using ig-pay atin-lay to eep-kay the eta-bay off aurd-gay. Ever-nay underestimate the ower-pay of the eta-bay. ill-way eep-kay you osted-pay.]

Stupid Capital Punishment

It is nothing better than premeditated murder.

Those who conducted this one deserve some legal sanction.

Stop state-sanctioned killing now.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

.002¢ ≠ $0.002

Oh, Verizon, you make me laugh with your misunderstanding of simple currency symbols.

And after 27 minutes of trying to educate three different call center people, this guy has a far more patience than I would've.

The War on Christmas: an Unlikely Enemy

So, as I was driving past a certain Church of Christ on Trousdale this evening, their shiny new electronic display assaulted me with a "Seasons Greetings" sign.

And I giggled, of course. I giggle every time I drive past that sign and think to myself that there is no piano in that church, but they've got that display outside. Where I grew up (which was not in Nashville, or even the South, obviously), all churches had pianos at least. And none of them had electronic displays. Those were reserved for banks.

But, back to the point: a Christian church wishing passers-by "Seasons Greetings" is part of the problem. Perhaps someone should alert John Gibson.

I hate Internet Explorer

Seriously, IE sucks. I know there is nothing original about my lament, but I haven't been forced to use IE in many years, so I've been able to gloat from afar, comfy in my Mozilla bubble. But now...oh now...

Now I am forced to scroll side-to-side because no website that I look at in IE fits vertically.

Oh, and it is slower than hell, and I can't block popups or ads.

IE sucks ass.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I don't even know where to begin

So, a certain "Nate" and I have been engaging in a discussion about race today at Nashville is Talking.

So, who is right here? Does Nate have his finger on the pulse of race relations, or do I?

Or, are we both wrong/right?

For the last time...

"The Media" does not have a liberal bias.

Anybody who whips out that old, demonstrably false canard needs a serious dose of reality.

Reason #78 Why I Love the Internet

Have you always wanted to go to Africa, but the thought of an 18-24 hour flight give you pause. Have no fear, the good folks at Africam have made available a live streaming video feed of a watering hole at Nkorho Pan in South Africa.

The audio is fun, too!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Federal Appeals Court Orders Former Enron CEO Jeff Skilling to Prison Immediately

24 years in the big house,!

A federal court ordered former Enron Chief Executive Officer Jeffrey Skilling to immediately go to prison, denying his request to remain free during his appeal.

Judge Patrick Higginbotham of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals wrote in his two-page order Tuesday that "Skilling raises no substantial question that is likely to result in the reversal of his convictions on all of the charged counts."

As a result, Higginbotham denied Skilling's request for bail pending his appeal and vacated an earlier order staying his prison report date.

I still say it's a shame Ken Lay won't be sharing a cell (well, dorm room; this prison sounds pretty soft) with his fellow defendant.

Creationism museum

From Auntie Beeb:

The museum's aim is to bring Genesis - the first book of the Bible - to life for all ages, and promote the belief that the Earth is less than 10,000 years old.

Everybody who works at the museum has to sign on to the belief that the living Earth was created in six 24-hour days - rejecting the convention most scientists view as fact, that life evolved slowly over millions of years.

To hammer that point home, two smiling children clad in tasteful animal skins, work and play alongside a pair of baby Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Considering the observation skills of the typical modern homo sapien, I think that if we co-existed with t. rex, the species would have been extinct a long time ago.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Happy Constitution Day!

I don't know if anybody else will enjoy the delicious irony that Constitution Day is no longer celebrated in Russia. I mean, it isn't like one could question a former head of a tyrannical regime's secret police's commitment to democratic principles, could one?

Blogger Censorship

No, this isn't about bloggers being censored; this is about bloggers doing the censorship.

If you are going to allow comments on your blogs, particularly those of you bloggers who are particularly hyperbolic and acerbic in your tone, have the ovaries to allow comments on your blogs.

That there are those of you who "hold comments for approval" strikes me as being awfully weak and cowardly, especially when you never post those comments that poke holes in your lame arguments.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Assy McGee

Anybody watch this new Adult Swim show?

Anybody understand it?

If so, d'ya mind sharing, because I have, thus far, been unable to wrap my head around it. And not in the way that I don't get 12 oz Mouse, but in the way I do not understand fractal geometry: I don't know WTF a "fractal" is, so I am lost before I even begin.

So, this ass has legs and can walk and talk (and do a mean karaoke version of Ave Maria, btw). And he's a cop.

Is it that I need to be doing more NyQuil before 10:30 Sunday nights?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I've "updated"

I've gone "up" to Blogger beta. I wanted labels, what can I say?

Stupid John McCain

Does anybody know if he actually possesses a conscience anymore?

Well, he has hired Terry "Call Me, Harold!" "Too Evil to Work for Wal*Mart" Nelson.

Remember in Ghost, where the demons from hell came to retrieve the soul of the friend who caused Patrick Swayze to be killed? I wonder when those demons came after Senator McCain.


Stupid Unintended Consequences

So back at the beginning of the school year, Jerry Falwell's Liberty Council sued and won the right to have religious mailings sent home through Albemarle County, VA's "backpack mail" program.

Well, it would seem as if there are a lot of religions out there. And, because Falwell got the ball rolling, the pagens have decided they want in on the action. And, since fair is fair, they got it.

Way to go, Reverend Falwell. It seems you and your cohorts are responsible for the downfall of Christianity in Albemarle County!

That is funny, funny stuff.

[Update: Here is a link to a story directly about the Pagan's infiltration (Go, Fightin' Pagans!). Be sure to stick around for the delicious comments.]

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

This is the funniest thing I've read today

You probably don't know this, but my threshold for "funny things read today" is pretty low...jury duty will do that to a body. However, Aunt B's story made me giggle, and I hope she doesn't lose her job for spilling on the anonymous middle manager.

You should give it a read.

Jury Duty's over...

I can talk about the case all I want to (and no, it wasn't Pacman's).

Oh, and NewsChannel 2 Videojournalist taking a left onto James Robertson Parkway out of the courthouse parking lot this morning who almost hit 4 women, one of them me: pedestrians have the right-of-way, particularly in crosswalks when the little guy on the sign is flashing white.

Fortunately, you were hampered by the red light there at 2nd Avenue, so I had time to take a picture of your car and tag. Just be careful, huh? Whatever engineering genius designed that cluster of intersections, lights, and crosswalks deserves a little waterboarding, but you driving like a dick doesn't really improve the situation.

Could it be?

It appears as if our highly-esteemed Metro Council has finally managed to find itself on the right side of a piece of legislation, even if it might be temporary, and perhaps accidental.

Once and for all: there are many, many ways of being in this country absolutely legally and not know how to speak the language. The number of immigrants who choose not to learn English is not measurable using modern scientific equipments. It is not a lack of motivation that prevents people from learning the language. People do, in fact, learn English.

For Council member Crafton, who proposed this retarded legislation, come on down and spend some time down here in South Nashville on Nolensville Road, and see just how busted up our community is by its multilingual nature. Watching you get the smackdown from Council member Jameson was delicious.

Bigots, go home!

Monday, December 04, 2006

A Brief Timeout

Everything's fine. I just have jury duty which is expected to last the week, and, because I am an oversharer by nature, the only way I could do my duty as a juror is to not blog this week.

If anybody comes across some Stupids they want to share, feel free to post them here, or you can drop me a line.

Oh, and Channel 4 (WSMV)? Goober sharing advice given him by Andy Griffith 40 years ago IS NOT NEWS! We are fighting two wars, the embattled controversial US Ambassador to the United Nations has resigned, gas has gone up $0.20 a gallon in the past 10 days--there is plenty of actual news to report.

Get on it, huh?

Friday, December 01, 2006

Stupid Political Product

Historical ignorance is a fun thing to manipulate, particularly when it is possessed by rabid wingnuts.

The Nazi Iron Cross is a extra-special touch of Stupid.