Sunday, December 31, 2006

Liveblogging take 5

Two minutes before the new year, so it's time for my New Year's in New York story: in 1989-90, I lived in NY, and went to see Grace Jones at some club, the name of which escapes me now, in NY for New Years Eve. It was expensive, and sweaty, and I hated it.

That must've been when I developed my hate of New Years Eve.

Liveblogging take 4

Christina Aguliera is amazing! I love this 40’s Andrews Sisters “Boogy Woogy Bugle Boy of Company B” homage. She looks fabulous, sounds fan-freaking-tastic!

Liveblogging take 3

I don't think my kids will ever know why Dick Clark was such an icon.

Liveblogging take 2

My favorite cousin couple, Benji and Heidi, danced an awesome tribute to James Brown, in what appeared to be a Hard Rock Cafe gift shop. Whatever.

But those crazy kids can dance! Mr. Stupid Girl compares Benji to Donald O'Connor, and I must agree. As a couple, they are amazing.

I am happy to see them, and glad that there are only five more minutes before I can switch it to Dick Clark.

Liveblogging take 1

Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve doesn't start for another 30 minutes, so I am watching some monstrosity on Fox.

First up: Toni Braxton. WTF happened to her? I remember listening to "Unbreak my Heart" back in the early 90s, and I totally loved her. But between the "couldn't really be arsed to make an effort at all"-level of lip sync, and the RuPaul-esque make up, I think Toni's time has long past.

Forgive Us

This is from a New York Times article written by Yoko Ono earlier this month. I thought it was an appropriate way to end the old year.

To the people who have also lost loved ones without cause: forgive us for having been unable to stop the tragedy. We pray for the wounds to heal.

To the soldiers of all countries and of all centuries, who were maimed for life, or who lost their lives: forgive us for our misjudgments and what happened as a result of them.

To the civilians who were maimed, or killed, or who lost their family members: forgive us for having been unable to prevent it.

To the people who have been abused and tortured: forgive us for having allowed it to happen.

Know that your loss is our loss.
Know that the physical and mental abuse you have endured will have a lingering effect on our society and the world.
Know that the burden is ours....

[H]ealing is what is urgently needed now in the world.

Let us heal the wounds together.

New Year's Eve Resolution

I admit it: I am a New Year's Eve wuss. Unless I am going to a house party, I would much rather stay home, eat some pork-based hor d'oeuvres, and watch Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. Drunk drivers scare me; drunk drivers en masse freak me right out.

Tonight, I'm a little tired, and going to bed customarily early seems pretty appealing to me. But crashing at 10 would confirm my utter loserness, so, I have decided to liveblog Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. It promises to be the least useful blog of 2006.

Oh, crap. I just remembered Seacrest is on it. Meh... Ah well...check the feed for updates throughout the night, fellow almost-losers!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Awesome parking lot stuff

So, after 4 months, I have finally learned how to move pics off my phone and put them on to my computer. So now I will be incorrigible, probably.


I saw two really cool parking lot things today. One is about an issue I have touched on before, namely, why backing into parking spaces is a bad idea. I can finally illustrate the "your bumper takes up the sidewalk space that was made for walking" idea.

See how the cars that are parked head in are pretty unobtrusive on the pedestrian-designated area? Let me show you just how much of the sidewalk this winner took with a different shot.

See? It's nearly the whole thing. And, since it was a Suburban, he would've been able to see over the cars parked around him without any trouble at all.

My next example of parking lot awesomeness came from my local Publix, where I had to stop in to get stuff (why I felt compelled to add that irrelevancy, I'll know). Anyway, what got my attention initially about this vehicle was its color. It was the brightest blue I have ever seen on a car in my life, with bright yellow-gold trim; it was gorgeous! Oh, and the fact that it was a taxi made it just that much more delicious. So, here it is:

You should know that this Publix has super-wide lanes between its parking spaces, and the store was practically deserted; there were dozens of places for this guy to park adequately.

Dear readers, please don't do the above things when you're parking. It makes others think ill of you.

[I'm shadowing now. I'll be doing that for a little while 'til I make the final leap.]

In case anybody noticed...

Over to the right of the page there, I have been posting Holiday of the Day things. I am bored of it, so, starting today, I am going to be posting Chuck Norris facts.

They're funnier. At least to me.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Did You Know?

The George Lopez show is still on?

I watched it a couple of time, what seems like a decade or so ago. It was cute, but it wasn't like his very funny stand up, so I didn't watch it again.

And, yet, there it is on Channel 2 right now. It's actually a marathon.

Think I'll skip it.

Overstating the Pardon

Fellow native Michigander Gerald Ford died yesterday. It wasn't surprising, or even particularly sad; he was, after all, 93 years old, and in increasingly failing health over the past several years. He was a good and quiet man, rather plain, and really without a whole lot of substance. Which is perfectly fine.

I have always questioned the Common Knowledge that his pardoning of Richard Nixon was a Good Thing for the country, that it somehow healed a rift that was in the nation at the time. I do not believe I agree with that Common Knowledge. In fact, I am beginning to believe that pardoning Nixon was probably at least partly responsible for the current batch of elections scandals that have been popping up.

I think that had Nixon been at least indicted for his role in both Watergate and other associated elections chicanery, it would have perhaps been the necessary spark for immediate, substantive elections financing reform. As it stands now, 30+ years later, we have McCain-Feingold, which is okay, but only when enforced by an FEC willing to bare its teeth, which is the polar opposite of the FEC we have now.

I do not necessarily believe Ford's congressional testimony that he and Haig did not make any deals viz The Pardon. I am convinced that conversations between Nixon's people and Ford's people took place about The Pardon. But, in the grand scheme of things, I don't think that matters all that much.

So, RIP Mr. President.

Monday, December 25, 2006

The kids' first Midnight Mass

It's been a long time since I've gone to midnight mass, so I thought it would be nice to go to a friend's church to enjoy one.

When I was younger, my parents sent us to various mainline protestant churches, and one set of grandparents was Catholic. When I was an older child, I became LDS. So my childhood experiences of church were of very conservative-type services.

Our children, however, are growing up in a non-denom, contemporary evangelical tradition. "Liturgy" is not a word in their vocabulary. "Responsive reading?" Nope, they've never heard of it.

Until tonight.

About 10 minutes or so into the service, I realized I forgot to inform them about the incense. And then when it was time for communion, I forgot to inform them about the real wine (our church uses grape juice). I got a lot of dirty looks from down the row of seats. Whoopsie!

It was very cool, and I am so glad we went. I had forgotten how good Bach sounds in a church.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

A couple of real-life Secret Santas

How cool is this?

A woman hopped aboard buses, greeted passengers with "Merry Christmas" and handed each an envelope containing a card and a $50 bill before stepping off and repeating the process on another bus.

She did it so quickly that descriptions of the woman varied among surprised Spokane Transit Authority passengers on several routes Thursday, The Spokesman-Review newspaper reported Friday.

Well, my family was treated to a very cool anonymous gift yesterday, and I cannot begin to describe how incredible it felt that someone gave something to us, expecting no thanks or other recognition. Whomever gave that gift to our family has truly learned the meaning of Christmas, and I thank him/her/them from the bottom of my very warm heart!

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Stupid sex!

Before I start, I really need to make a confession for full disclosure: I met my husband online. I have found the internet has done wonders for my social life, because, in case you've missed it, I'm not terribly social really. That said, I never sought out the company of anybody who was jailbait. Interestingly, I never found it hard to resist the lure of the underaged. Why is it that so many are attracted to those who are so much younger than them? Is it a control thing?

Anyway, on to the funny.

So, with a tip o' the hat to brittney over at Nashville is Talking, I present to you: Amber Forever.

Have fun, and in case I don't get back, have a merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Virgil Goode

If you have not yet heard of Virgil Goode, rest assured, you will. And not in the "wow, he's an amazing statesman" kind of way, but rather in the "Santorum" kind of way.

Read the letter he sent to his constituents
. Scintillating, non?

Do some of you really believe that the reason there is a Muslim who was elected to the US Congress is because of illegal immigration? And do you really think that Muslims pose a threat to "our" values and traditional beliefs? If so, is what you're smoking legal?


Blogger Beta, or whatever the hell you're calling yourself today, don't you think it would've been a nice thing to tell the folks using you that you were changing stuff around? It pissed me off not a little bit to be greeted with a "We are unable to complete your request" message when I tried to log on.

You are of the Devil, and I hate you. I am so sorry I was such a whore for the labels. I should have known better than to be attracted to the shiny.


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

One of those days...

I have had it with the throngs of the massively stupid. The next person who says/writes something stupid that I happen to see will be very, very sorry.

Well, I really can't back up that check, but I'll want to do something that will make them very, very sorry, rest assured!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Stupid John McCain

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Republicans, please run this clown.

You see, McCain wants to hold bloggers (or at least those that allow public profiles) responsible somehow for knowing whether commenters on their sites are registered sex offenders, and, if so, remove those posts from their sites, or face the consequences (up to $300,000 worth of consequences).

How, exactly, is someone supposed to determine which posters are sex offenders? Should there be a "if you are a sex offender, please check here"-type question on all online profiles? And, it's not as if the internet is full of people who tell the truth about their sexual exploits (I know; I did online dating for a long, long time. Finding a truthful person was a challenge, to say the least).

It's a stupid idea from a man who is losing all association with reality.

Stupid "War on Christmas"

There is no war on Christmas. Full stop. Christians aren't being persecuted in the United States. At all. All those who believe they are, quitcherbitchin. I am tired of hearing about it. You have no evidence, only rumors and friend of a friend of a friend of your Aunt Mary's hairdresser's sister-in-law's neighbor's friend stories to confirm this country is going to hell in a secular handbasket. Get over all ready.

So, here is a really good Slate article attempting to explain why "conservatives" hate the phrase "happy holidays." I put "conservatives" in quotation marks, because I do not think an actual conservative would give a rip what salutation they were greeted with. I think this new breed of Persecution-Complex Conservatives really do take offense at absolutely everything. I find them mockworthy.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Wait, that's not working like we planned

Apparently, the company building the fence between California and Mexico has been fined for using [drumroll please] illegal aliens.

Is there anything left for the executive branch of this government to fuck up? (And sorry for dropping the f-bomb, but jebus Chrysler, these people are the very definition of inept. I think I've developed TMJ from all the jaw-dropping I've been doing over the past six years.)

[On the downlow, I ink-thay I will be eaving-lay ogger-Bl eta-Bay oon-say. I am using ig-pay atin-lay to eep-kay the eta-bay off aurd-gay. Ever-nay underestimate the ower-pay of the eta-bay. ill-way eep-kay you osted-pay.]

Stupid Capital Punishment

It is nothing better than premeditated murder.

Those who conducted this one deserve some legal sanction.

Stop state-sanctioned killing now.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

.002¢ ≠ $0.002

Oh, Verizon, you make me laugh with your misunderstanding of simple currency symbols.

And after 27 minutes of trying to educate three different call center people, this guy has a far more patience than I would've.

The War on Christmas: an Unlikely Enemy

So, as I was driving past a certain Church of Christ on Trousdale this evening, their shiny new electronic display assaulted me with a "Seasons Greetings" sign.

And I giggled, of course. I giggle every time I drive past that sign and think to myself that there is no piano in that church, but they've got that display outside. Where I grew up (which was not in Nashville, or even the South, obviously), all churches had pianos at least. And none of them had electronic displays. Those were reserved for banks.

But, back to the point: a Christian church wishing passers-by "Seasons Greetings" is part of the problem. Perhaps someone should alert John Gibson.

I hate Internet Explorer

Seriously, IE sucks. I know there is nothing original about my lament, but I haven't been forced to use IE in many years, so I've been able to gloat from afar, comfy in my Mozilla bubble. But now...oh now...

Now I am forced to scroll side-to-side because no website that I look at in IE fits vertically.

Oh, and it is slower than hell, and I can't block popups or ads.

IE sucks ass.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I don't even know where to begin

So, a certain "Nate" and I have been engaging in a discussion about race today at Nashville is Talking.

So, who is right here? Does Nate have his finger on the pulse of race relations, or do I?

Or, are we both wrong/right?

For the last time...

"The Media" does not have a liberal bias.

Anybody who whips out that old, demonstrably false canard needs a serious dose of reality.

Reason #78 Why I Love the Internet

Have you always wanted to go to Africa, but the thought of an 18-24 hour flight give you pause. Have no fear, the good folks at Africam have made available a live streaming video feed of a watering hole at Nkorho Pan in South Africa.

The audio is fun, too!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Federal Appeals Court Orders Former Enron CEO Jeff Skilling to Prison Immediately

24 years in the big house,!

A federal court ordered former Enron Chief Executive Officer Jeffrey Skilling to immediately go to prison, denying his request to remain free during his appeal.

Judge Patrick Higginbotham of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals wrote in his two-page order Tuesday that "Skilling raises no substantial question that is likely to result in the reversal of his convictions on all of the charged counts."

As a result, Higginbotham denied Skilling's request for bail pending his appeal and vacated an earlier order staying his prison report date.

I still say it's a shame Ken Lay won't be sharing a cell (well, dorm room; this prison sounds pretty soft) with his fellow defendant.

Creationism museum

From Auntie Beeb:

The museum's aim is to bring Genesis - the first book of the Bible - to life for all ages, and promote the belief that the Earth is less than 10,000 years old.

Everybody who works at the museum has to sign on to the belief that the living Earth was created in six 24-hour days - rejecting the convention most scientists view as fact, that life evolved slowly over millions of years.

To hammer that point home, two smiling children clad in tasteful animal skins, work and play alongside a pair of baby Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Considering the observation skills of the typical modern homo sapien, I think that if we co-existed with t. rex, the species would have been extinct a long time ago.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Happy Constitution Day!

I don't know if anybody else will enjoy the delicious irony that Constitution Day is no longer celebrated in Russia. I mean, it isn't like one could question a former head of a tyrannical regime's secret police's commitment to democratic principles, could one?

Blogger Censorship

No, this isn't about bloggers being censored; this is about bloggers doing the censorship.

If you are going to allow comments on your blogs, particularly those of you bloggers who are particularly hyperbolic and acerbic in your tone, have the ovaries to allow comments on your blogs.

That there are those of you who "hold comments for approval" strikes me as being awfully weak and cowardly, especially when you never post those comments that poke holes in your lame arguments.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Assy McGee

Anybody watch this new Adult Swim show?

Anybody understand it?

If so, d'ya mind sharing, because I have, thus far, been unable to wrap my head around it. And not in the way that I don't get 12 oz Mouse, but in the way I do not understand fractal geometry: I don't know WTF a "fractal" is, so I am lost before I even begin.

So, this ass has legs and can walk and talk (and do a mean karaoke version of Ave Maria, btw). And he's a cop.

Is it that I need to be doing more NyQuil before 10:30 Sunday nights?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I've "updated"

I've gone "up" to Blogger beta. I wanted labels, what can I say?

Stupid John McCain

Does anybody know if he actually possesses a conscience anymore?

Well, he has hired Terry "Call Me, Harold!" "Too Evil to Work for Wal*Mart" Nelson.

Remember in Ghost, where the demons from hell came to retrieve the soul of the friend who caused Patrick Swayze to be killed? I wonder when those demons came after Senator McCain.


Stupid Unintended Consequences

So back at the beginning of the school year, Jerry Falwell's Liberty Council sued and won the right to have religious mailings sent home through Albemarle County, VA's "backpack mail" program.

Well, it would seem as if there are a lot of religions out there. And, because Falwell got the ball rolling, the pagens have decided they want in on the action. And, since fair is fair, they got it.

Way to go, Reverend Falwell. It seems you and your cohorts are responsible for the downfall of Christianity in Albemarle County!

That is funny, funny stuff.

[Update: Here is a link to a story directly about the Pagan's infiltration (Go, Fightin' Pagans!). Be sure to stick around for the delicious comments.]

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

This is the funniest thing I've read today

You probably don't know this, but my threshold for "funny things read today" is pretty low...jury duty will do that to a body. However, Aunt B's story made me giggle, and I hope she doesn't lose her job for spilling on the anonymous middle manager.

You should give it a read.

Jury Duty's over...

I can talk about the case all I want to (and no, it wasn't Pacman's).

Oh, and NewsChannel 2 Videojournalist taking a left onto James Robertson Parkway out of the courthouse parking lot this morning who almost hit 4 women, one of them me: pedestrians have the right-of-way, particularly in crosswalks when the little guy on the sign is flashing white.

Fortunately, you were hampered by the red light there at 2nd Avenue, so I had time to take a picture of your car and tag. Just be careful, huh? Whatever engineering genius designed that cluster of intersections, lights, and crosswalks deserves a little waterboarding, but you driving like a dick doesn't really improve the situation.

Could it be?

It appears as if our highly-esteemed Metro Council has finally managed to find itself on the right side of a piece of legislation, even if it might be temporary, and perhaps accidental.

Once and for all: there are many, many ways of being in this country absolutely legally and not know how to speak the language. The number of immigrants who choose not to learn English is not measurable using modern scientific equipments. It is not a lack of motivation that prevents people from learning the language. People do, in fact, learn English.

For Council member Crafton, who proposed this retarded legislation, come on down and spend some time down here in South Nashville on Nolensville Road, and see just how busted up our community is by its multilingual nature. Watching you get the smackdown from Council member Jameson was delicious.

Bigots, go home!

Monday, December 04, 2006

A Brief Timeout

Everything's fine. I just have jury duty which is expected to last the week, and, because I am an oversharer by nature, the only way I could do my duty as a juror is to not blog this week.

If anybody comes across some Stupids they want to share, feel free to post them here, or you can drop me a line.

Oh, and Channel 4 (WSMV)? Goober sharing advice given him by Andy Griffith 40 years ago IS NOT NEWS! We are fighting two wars, the embattled controversial US Ambassador to the United Nations has resigned, gas has gone up $0.20 a gallon in the past 10 days--there is plenty of actual news to report.

Get on it, huh?

Friday, December 01, 2006

Stupid Political Product

Historical ignorance is a fun thing to manipulate, particularly when it is possessed by rabid wingnuts.

The Nazi Iron Cross is a extra-special touch of Stupid.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Tomorrow is World AIDS Day

Much work has been done; many miles more still need to be traveled.

[Edited to add a link to Slate's Pictures of the Day: AIDS Around the World.]

You say it, but do you really mean it?

I had Krystal for lunch. As a non-native southerner, Krystal does not rank on my Top 5 fast-food dining experiences list, but I wanted something with chili, and the nearest Hardee's to me is staffed by incompetents and all-around rude people (like the manager who yelled at me for trying to use an internet coupon). So I don't go there anymore.


So, I went to the drive-thru at Krystal (MetroCenter, should anybody be curious), and as I approached the window, my bag of food was hanging out the window, while being hung on to by a seemingly disembodied arm. I carefully drove up, having to swerve out of the way a bit to not hit the hand holding onto my food with my rear-view mirror, and accepted my food and a "have a nice day" from the owner of the arm that was previously suspected as being disembodied.

I appreciated the sentiment, because I do wish to have a nice day, and it makes me feel aas if I am somehow connected to my fellow humans when we wish for the same things. And then I was struck by a thought: he didn't give me my drink.

So I said to him, "I didn't get my drink." While he didn't take this news badly, necessarily, he certainly didn't take any responsibility for his oversight. "Medium diet Coke, right?" he offered. "Yup, that's it," I responded.

And he got me my drink and handed it to me, without saying another word. No "sorry about that," no repeat of the "have a nice day" wish, no "thank you." His handing over my beverage to me signaled the end of our relationship.

I wonder now if he really wanted me to have a nice day, or if he just said that to me because he had to. And where is it that our all-to-brief relationship became so dysfunctional? Were my expectations too high? Did he harbor secret resentments toward me? Was I too needy? Was he too distant? Was there just a lack of communication on both of our parts?

Heaven knows, but, Guy at the MetroCenter Krystal Drive-Thru: I truly wish for you a nice day.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Crazies Love Him!

According to a study published in the New Haven (Conn.) Advocate,

The more psychotic the voter, the more likely they were to vote for Bush.

Again, every once in awhile it seems to me that the establishment comes to the party a little late on these things.

Of course, I kid. The one psychotic person I am familiar with did not vote for Bush.

I am sick today. I hate being sick. I went to bed last night feeling perfectly fine and woke up this morning unable to stay vertical for more than a few minutes at a time.

powered by performancing firefox

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Is there such a thing as "Too much" stupid?

From a mother microwaving her 3-week old baby, to a dad trying to sell his 5-year old on Craigslist, to Michael Richards' meltdown and subsequent attempt at image rehabilitation, to Kid and Pam and Borat, to Brittney and K-Fed, to Putin reliving his KGB days, to Britney's strict adherence to Paris' no-panty rule, to the media finally acknowledging what many of us have known for a couple of years already, Stupid is bustin' out all over!

To be honest, I could've used this Cornucopia of Stupid in the run up to Thanksgiving, but a Stupid Girl takes her gifts where she gets them.

This, though, I think must take today's Stupid of the Day:

Tony, how do you sleep at night? How do you look at yourself in the mirror? How do you face your children? And what about your guinea pigs, Mr. Snow? Do you think they don't know about your...profession?

Monday, November 27, 2006

I have been asked to leave a place or two in my day, but...

I have yet to be asked to leave a country.

I know the Embassy officially says that they didn't do any such thing, but we'll just pretend that they did, because it's funnier that way.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Uhm, where are the Jesuses?

So, in doing my part to buoy the sluggish American economy this weekend by purchasing gifts to exchange at our early-winter festival, I noticed that while there are blow-up snowmen and blow-up Santas and blow-up Ruldoph the Red-Nosed-Reindeer (not to mention the blow-up snow globe with the snowmen and Santas and Ruldoph the Red-Nosed-Reindeer all on a carousel in some sort of mixed-metaphor nirvana), there are no blow-up Jesuses (Jesi?). Not a one.

There is no blow-up manger, and no blow-up Mary or Joseph, or blow-up Wise Men, or blow-up North Star, or blow-up lowing cattle or blow-up little drummer boy. Oh no. Because that would be unholy or something.

This is so much more befitting the season, dontcha think?

P.S. Get yourselves to see Happy Feet. Though I don't recommend it for younger children (probably good for ages 8-ish and up).

P.P.S. We wound up just going out to CompUSA's Thanksgiving-night sale. Got a computer for $199 after rebates, and then found out there was some programming error on the receipts, so it looks as if there is a $150 rebate the purchaser isn't eligible for. Apparently, CompUSA is aware of the problem and will be issuing a work-around for it in the next couple of days.

But we avoided any early Black Friday sales, instead, only cruised to Best Buy later Friday evening. There was hardly anybody there; in fact, it looked like there were more employees that customers.

Oh, and we went to Cool Springs Galleria this afternoon. I have been there on Tuesday mornings when there have been more people.

I am a little concerned that the holiday sales numbers are going to catch up with real wage growth. By that I mean that holiday sales numbers might fall.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Black Friday previews

I have jumped on the Black Friday bandwagon. I am very ashamed of myself.

So, enough of that.

Anybody got any good links to previews? I'll share mine:

Dear readers, I wish you all plenty to be thankful for this and every Thanksgiving holiday.

See ya after the retail carnage.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Stupidest Op-Ed Piece of the Week and What is Up with the Women of the Right?

And it didn't come either from The Scene or the Tennessean. Go figure.

No, for this week's stupidest op-ed, we have to travel all the way to Lexington, KY, to the Herald-Leader, where "contributing" columnist Jenean Mcbrearty (anybody else think that's a made-up name?) offers us this steaming pile:

Hippies still trying to ruin the country

(no, really, that is the title of the column. Honest. Click through if you don't believe me.)

But wait, I think she really believes it, too. Check this out:

America won't win another war until the 1960s flower children are pushing up petunias.
Fortunately for "Jenean," some of them already are.

Radicalized, the flower children morphed into lefty loonies who now masquerade as social progressives.

You mean all that talk about "freedom" and "equality" was just a disguise? Or that the freedom and equality talk isn't social progressivism? My wingnut-to-English dictionary has gone missing, so if anybody has theirs handy and cares to translate, please comment away.

Such nonsense, now treated as legitimate by the left-leaning media, denigrates the patriotic values and sincerity of half the nation. It undermines the war effort, insults the dead and the survivors of battle and their families, and supports the aims of the enemy. Translated into immigration or national defense policy, it is an invitation to the world to destroy our country.
Alright, now we're getting to the heart of what pisses me off, and why I think that, perhaps, we should rethink this whole "free speech" thing (not really, but boy, does this argument irritate the snot out of me).

Many of those "flower children" are veterans. Many of them fought in a war that we had as little business fighting as the one we are now fighting in Iraq.

Nothing denigrates patriotism more than a fool who believes that questioning a democratic government's policies is akin to being a traitor. Patriotism is not, nor has it ever been, blind allegiance to the people leading us. That's foolishness. That is dangerous. That, Ms Mcbrearty, is what is destroying this nation.

Which leads me to this...

I wonder, though, why is it that so many of the women on the right are such vile, hateful individuals. Ms Mcbrearty spewed forth a Rovian editorial, blaming the left for everything short of the kidnapping of the Lindbergh baby. Ms Coulter wrote an entire book on the "treason" of liberals. Ms Malkin is the only American left who thinks it was okay to imprison lawful US residents and citizens of Japanese descent during World War II (well, the only one who doesn't own one of those fancy pointy hats made out of white sheets, anyway). There is a Tennessee blogger by the name of Terry Franks who is as embittered and as genuinely hateful as these other women.

Is it because their men would rather find succor in the arms of crystal methamphetamine and another man than in the arms of them that they have turned into such crones (oh, Lord, do I hate that word; it has the most sexist implications, and I think that women are already women's worst enemies)?

Why are these women, who possess such potential to be forces for good and right and light in the world, so bitter and angry and resentful? Why are these women making entire careers focused on the negative in others, rather than taking the opportunity to nurture the positive in themselves? These women are catty, bitchy, and just plain mean human beings. They demonstrate everything that is bad about womanhood, and none of the good.

I am so proud to be a woman. I am proud I have the opportunity to be a mother and step-mother to young women and women-to-be. I would no more want my daughter and step-daughters to be the kinds of women Mcbrearty, Malkin, Coulter, and Franks represent as I would want them to be like the women on Flava of Love. I want these women in my life to become the absolute best they can be. I want them to be forces for good in the world.

I wonder if anybody wanted those things for Jenean or Michelle or Ann or Terry. I wonder if anybody told them such a thing was possible.

Stupid New Parking Lot Trend

Backing in to parking spaces.

WTF is up with that? Seriously? Are there really that many members of volunteer fire/rescue teams who simply cannot spare the 0.47 seconds extra it takes to back out of a parking space that nearly half of my office building-mates feel the need to back into their spaces?

"Well," says Dear Reader, "what's the big deal?" An excellent question. There are a couple of big deals with this, which I will ennumerate below.
  1. People, by and large, have excruciatingly poor spatial sense. They have no idea how to turn the wheel in the proper manner to ensure their vehicle is placed roughly equidistant between the two lines differentiating that parking space from those on the other side (and/or in front) of it. This problem is magnified exponentially when one is trying to drive in reverse. It is raised by factors of 10 when one is backing into a space that is between two previously-parked cars.
  2. People, by and large, do not know how to drive in parking lots. You've seen it: two people are travelling at intersecting routes through a parking lot where they will, eventually, intersect. Who has the right of way? Hell's bells, the people I commute near can't figure this out at a traffic signal.
  3. People, by and large, do not know how long their vehicle is from their rear tires to the end of their car. As a result, long trunks often impede the sidewalk that runs in front of many of the parking spaces in my office building's lot, thereby, rendering it unusable for the pedestrians for whom it was placed.
  4. People, by and large, impede other traffic when they back into parking spaces. This is particularly true for those lots that have one-way traffic and diagonal parking spaces. Those (and all other parking spaces) were designed to be pulled into head on. It's really amazingly simple genius: you pull straight in, and then you can (usually) back straight out. You hardly even have to touch your steering wheel. It is truly incredible when appreciated for its simplicity. But no. Some of you out there think nothing about holding up traffic in parking lots. Imagine this: you are on a two-lane street downtown, that has parallel parking on both sides of the street. Traffic is flowing in both directions. Suddenly, the car in front of you signals right, comes to a stop, and then puts his/her transmission in reverse. 9 times of out 10, your first thought is not a particularly charitable one, is it? But, that is how parallel parking is done. You really do have to impede traffic, if there is traffic to impede. Not so parking lots. Pull head in. That is how they were made.
  5. People, by and large, look like self-important twits when they back into parking spaces. Even you. So stop, really. Just pull head in. It's easier on you; it's easier on those around you. Parking lot real estate is going to become exceedingly rare very soon. We all need to do our best to reduce the inconvenience we place on everybody else during the upcoming holiday season. Cutting out unneeded parking lot moves is, IMO, an excellent way to start.

(Now, of course, because Karma has an awesome sense of humor, someone will post a brilliant, unarguable reason why backing into parking spaces should not only be allowed, but required. I, quite frankly, am a little hungry for some pie right now, so if it must be humble, so be it.)

Monday, November 20, 2006

In Which I Have the Best Family Ever

I was sick this weekend. By "sick" I mean I got home from work Friday at about 5pm, crawled into bed, and stayed there until about 6 this [Monday] morning. That kind of sick.

Anyway, Mr. Stupid Girl and I do our grocery shopping on Saturday, and since Thanksgiving is Thursday, this was bound to be a big trip. Only I could not go. I really wanted to, because I am, shall we say, exacting, about what ingredients I need/want for my favorite holiday's meal. There really was no way I could go, though, so Mr. Stupid Girl and I wrote up the list, then we went through it to answer any questions he might have about the particular brand of vanilla I must have in order to maintain stasis in the household.

Sunday afternoon, he took the children off to our local Publix, and, 2 hours, 5 phone calls, and a teeny-tiny bit of money later (seriously, he hardly spend any money; I have no idea how he did that), they came home with exactly what we needed in order to make a glorious T-giving Day feast.

I love my husband, I love our children. And I so totally love Thanksgiving. It is the best holiday ever!

I hope you all have a merry one! (get that? see, I had to inject a little smart-assedness there, otherwise you'd think your Stupid Girl had gone all soft on ya.)

Friday, November 17, 2006

Freakin' awesome awesome-ness

Those of you who only know me by my blog posts probably get the impression that all I do is complain about stuff.

You would be, according to those who know me in the 3-dimensional world, pretty much right on.

Be that as it may, I made the plunge to an mp3 player a few weeks ago, and, while I haven't had time to sit down and really get to know all its features, I have made some discoveries here and there about it, which makes me regret not taking the leap long before.

Today's discovery is the mini speaker, which I noticed when I turned it on and hadn't plugged my headphones all the way in. My cube neighbors noticed it, too. Oops.

So now I am listing to "Solsbury Hill," one of my personal "Life is Good" anthems, trying very hard to resist the urge to yank the headphones out of the jack, so that the entire floor could hear the happy, happy music and dance around with me.

As annoyed as I get about The Stupids, I am still greatful for the ability to find pure joy in a good song. I wish for you all some pure, simple joy in your life.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Stupid Equivocating

The headline reads "Some Americans Lack Food, but USDA Won't Call Them Hungry"

Calling them something other than "hungry" is pretty messed up.

That there are 39 million people in the United States (about as many people who live in California, as a quick reference) who aren't entirely sure where their next meal is coming from is something seriously stupid.

Must everything be political?

Stupid Pundit of the Day

Glenn Beck, not only are you a bigot, you are an asshole, too.

Read some of his comments to the first Muslim elected to the US House of Representatives:

No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I've been to mosques. I really don't believe that Islam is a religion of evil. I -- you know, I think it's being hijacked, quite frankly.

With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, "Let's cut and run." And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, "Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies."

And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way.

Couple things for you bigots out there who prefer to remain in the closet: don't say bigotted things like this, and you may remain safely ensconsed in your closet of hate. And when you say something to the effect of "I have friends of [insert whatever race/religion/ethnicity/nationality/sexuality/other identifying characteristic you're about to insult here]," that does not mean you aren't still a bigot.

Furthermore, anybody who says "No offense" is about to let something incredibly offensive come pouring out of their piehole; stand back and don't let it splash on your shoes.

And for you Fox-esque pundits*, when you say something bigotted and then try to couch it in terms of your feelings, and then try to further deflect behind the skirts of "America's" feelings, don't be surprised when people shake their heads in awe and wonder, while muttering, "What a flaming asshole." Be comforted in the knowledge that they are, in fact, muttering about you.

You, Glenn Beck, are a flaming asshole, and you owe Congressman Ellison an on-air, very public, very contrite apology.

*Glenn Beck is on-air "talent" at CNN's Headline News, which, many of us are coming to realize, is Fox's CNN affiliate.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The Stupidest Place to Proselytize

No, not New Jersey itself, but a classroom in New Jersey.

It seems as if a certain Mr. "P," a full-time teacher, and a part-time preacher, decided that, in direct contravention of Supreme Court rulings, he should be able, on government time, at government expense, in a government facility, in front of students compelled to be in attendance, it he could preach that:

"He (God) did everything in his power to make sure that you could go to heaven, so much so that he took your sin on his own body, suffered your pains for you and he's saying, 'Please accept me, believe me.'"

He adds, according to the tapes: "If you reject that, you belong in hell. The outcome is your prerogative. But the way I see it, God himself sent his only son to die for David Paszkiewicz on that cross ... And if you reject that, then it really is to hell with you."

I am a Christian. We are raising our children as Christians. We have neighbors, however, who are not Christian. We have neighbors who are Christian who attend a different church than my family and I do on Sunday morning. The public school is meant to accommodate all of my neighbors, not just the ones who go to the same church I do.

Enough, already. For the love of all that is holy, fellow Christians, ease up already! I do not care what you have been preached to; the US is not a Christian country. It is a secular one. We Christians should rejoice in that, because it means that, as long as it is secular, our right to worship as we choose is not in danger.

However, as soon as others try to make the nation into a religious one, those of other faiths will be discriminated against. Sure, it's probably just going to be the Muslims now (and since they're all nascent terrorists anyway, who really cares, right? nudge nudge wink wink), but, balances of power shift, and, while it may be the Christians oppressing the Muslims, that could reverse itself pretty quickly.

So please be careful what you pray for. And stop preaching in school.

Stupid Metro Stormwater Management

Storm drains: when they are blocked with leaves, they are not able to effectively do their raison d'etre. In autumn, deciduous trees, of which there are a few in Nashville, shed their leaves. Said leaves usually are not resistant to gravity, so they land on the ground. Many of those leaves are carried by rain runoff to storm drains. But, leaves tend to not actually go down the drain, so they stay in small piles around the drains, preventing the runoff from actually entering the drain.

Since water, too, is not usually resistant to gravity, it will then flow down hill. Often times, that is into the streets. Then we get what is known as "urban flooding," which, in many cases, is completely preventable.

Hey, Public Works: would you mind greatly ensuring storm drains are kept free of obstructions so that the streets don't flood? That'd be great, thanks.

Monday, November 13, 2006

A Stupid Selfish Wish

Run, Rudy, run!

Please, Mayor Giuliani, run for president. Please show those people who didn't know how to pronounce your name until 9/11/01 the sort of man you really are.

Please allow me the pleasure of watching the gladiator bout between the paleoconservatives and the neoconservatives.

Please allow me to watch my dreams come true.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Stupid Craigslist resumes

It's been a long time since I've taken a swipe at the job-seekers over at Craigslist, so, since the election season is over (and the Titans' season, as well, at least figuratively), I thought I'd resurrect one of my favorite Stupid segments.

Ready for some fun? Me, too!

First, in the category of "where the hell did you learn grammar,"

Ex-FBI computer "security" expert seeking employement

I am not sure why "security" would be in quotation marks, but if he/she means "security" the way the Bush administration has been providing it, then that makes some sense.

(by the way, these are all straight copy and pastes. I do no much-needed editing of the craigslist posts.)

Ad #2:

Nanny for Professionals

I think this should probably be posted in the "Casual encounters" section, if ya know what I mean.

Ad #3

(Please note that this is probably not fair of me, but the irony was just too delicious for me to pass up)

University English Teacher Seeks Work Editing, Writing or Tutoring

This one you'll have to click through to read. Go all the way down to her resume. Note the formatting. Ensuring formatting is correct is a part of proofreading, as I recall. Whoops.

In the "Things are tough all over" category:

Guitarist Seeking Work

Gosh, there are out-of-work guitarists in Nashville? Will wonders never cease?

In the "Someone who really knows what he wants" category:

Sales guy in Atlanta seeks company to work for in Atlanta Ga

Also, keep in mind that this was posted in the Nashville Craigslist. Atlanta has its own.

Last but not least, in the "What, you don't know who I am?" category:

Adraine Knight

Why do people work so hard on platitude-laden objective statements? No shit, you want to help the company and improve your skills. Isn't that the point of a job, after all?

Saturday, November 11, 2006

I may have to rethink my earlier post

When I am wrong, I am wrong, and, usually, I admit it.

So, this afternoon, Mr. Stupid Girl suggests that the answer to my dilemma below is that we simply impeach both Bush and Cheney at the same time. Of course, given the Constitutional Line of Succession, that will mean that Nancy Pelosi, presumptive Speaker of the House, will ascend to the presidency.

Wanna see a bunch of neocons burst a jugular vein? Tell 'em President Pelosi has just been sworn in.


P.S. Thanks to my fellow vets and shipmates, former and future.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Stupid Idea of the Day

Don't do it, McCain. You distinguished yourself as a man who is willing to violate his personal moral code in order to advance a party agenda.

My Aunt Kim warned me about you, and it turns out she was right.

Stupid Paybacks

Do you believe President Bush's actions justify impeachment? * 357919 responses
87%--Yes, between the secret spying, the deceptions leading to war and more, there is plenty to justify putting him on trial.

4.4%--No, like any president, he has made a few missteps, but nothing approaching "high crimes and misdemeanors."

6.6%--No, the man has done absolutely nothing wrong. Impeachment would just be a political lynching.

1.9%--I don't know.

I really don't like the guy, but impeachment? Really? Don't you think we should wait until he's out of office and then have the International Criminal Court try him for war crimes? I mean, at least that way he may actually go to jail. The worst possible outcome from impeachment is he gets kicked out of office, and then we have two years of Satan: Do you really want to be responsible for that? Me, neither. So let's just cool it with the impeachment talk, mmm-kay?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Not at all stupid!

AP has called Virginia for Webb, and, with that, Democrats have taken control of both houses of Congress.

A collective sigh was taken across the land. Seriously; did you feel even Republicans taking solace in the results, realizing that the grownups have come back and will be handling things from now on.

Okay, so that's a little over the top, but...

I am not a believer in efficiency in government, particularly not in a representative republican democracy like ours. Gridlock is good, to paraphrase Mr. Gecko. At its best, gridlock allows for reasonable debate and compromise among those people of good will who are trying to represent their constituencies to the best of their ability.

Now, as for Speaker Pelosi and whomever will be Senate Majority Leader (Senator Murtha, anybody?): please do not squander this. As of today, the party is campaigning for '08. Please let's act like it; be examples of civility and decency.

The party is full of good people; please make it clear you are doing their work.

[8:36pm update: Well, it would seem I did not imagine that sigh of relief. Check out this nugget from Rush Limbaugh himself:

The way I feel is this: I feel liberated, and I'm going to tell you as plainly as I can why. I no longer am going to have to carry the water for people who I don't think deserve having their water carried.

And then he gets back to his typical douchebaggery, but, still. It was nice that for two sentences, Rush admitted he was a bullshitter. Admitting it is the first step, Rush, as I am sure you know.]

Mixed Feelings

While I once again voted nearly a straight slate of losers, I am pleased that my district and state are out of sync with the rest of the nation. I am glad that Democrats have taken back majority of the House and (fingers crossed) the Senate. Democratic oversight (if it is properly executed, i.e. not like the Republican Revolution of '94) is crucial to stemming the tide of the ruinous policies of the Bush administration.

Voting for Harold Ford was very difficult for me to do, as I wrote in an earlier post. The reasons I wound up voting for him rather than abstaining are multiple, but all can really be reduced to the Democratic party regaining control over Congress. To those of you saying quizically, "But, Stupid Girl, Ford lost, so your brilliant plan didn't work," you have a great point. When I early voted, the race was still very much a tossup, though I don't think anybody realized how close it would end up, so I had to do what I had to do with the information I had at the time. I think I did the right thing. I don't think Ford and I have much in common besides the superficial (age, skin tone, and party affiliation), but I know that Bob Corker and I only possess membership in the same species in common. There was just no way I could have voted for Corker and not hated myself. I find him to be a vile man, and I hope that Montana and Virginia go the D's way, so that Corker's impact will be minimal over the next six years.

(A parenthetical about "Third Party" candidates: in theory, I love the idea of a multiple-party system. However, our braand of representation really makes third parties unviable. Couple that with the two parties in power doing whatever it takes to remain in powoer, and I think that nothing short of amred revolution will bring actual substantive changes to the elections process.)

I am very discouraged that so many voters have no problem whatsoever with adding discrimination into the state constitution. I have truly tried to understand why people are so afraid of homosexuality. It is something I am resigned to never understanding. To me, the fear seems to be more akin to a phobia, in that it is bereft of logic. If there is anybody reading this blog who voted in favor of Amendment 1 (or whatever similar legislation banning gay marriage in your state) who would like to explain to me why homosexual marriage is so dangerous that its prohibition must be a constitutional issue, please, please, please drop a line. I am interested in understanding your side, but, thus far, there has been no argument presented from the anti-homo side that isn't easily beaten down with cold logic.

A little note about a non-Tennessee race: I was truly surprised that Lincoln Chaffee of Rhode Island was defeated. As the only Republican Senator to vote against authorizing war in Iraq, I felt he was truly a moderate Republican, who out-McCained John McCain on issues regarding this Stupid War. I think he was a moderating voice the Republican party so desperately needs right now. I will be sorry to see him go.

In a post planned for later today, I plan to excoriate the media's coverage of the election. Stupidity abounded, particularly from those at MSNBC. Holy crap, did they suck.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I know I said I was going to bed, but...

I just couldn't resist this little gem:

Former House member charged with assaulting man who defeated him

"Patrick Rose looked like he was trying to get away and then a bunch of men came over and pulled Rick Green off," Whalen said. "He continued trying to go after him and kept shouting 'You need to stop lying' and 'Let him defend himself, the big baby.' "

Rose said he was not hurt.

"Next time I see Rick, I'll remember to keep my left up," he said.

Good advice for us all: keep your left up, dear readers.

Stupid Election Results

(Or lack thereof, as the case is)

This is the third election cycle in which local elections are not called before my bedtime. This time, there are people who are still waiting to vote.

That there were 2 machines at Cora Howe Elementary. There were 20% more voters than in the last election. So this particular polling place has been under-machined for 2 election cycles.

Perhaps it is time for the Davidson County Elections Commission to explain themselves.

But now it's time for the Midterm Midtacular Joint Stewart/Colbert special.

Stop the world, I wanna get off!

Brittany files for divorce from K-Fed.

What is wrong with people?!


Monday, November 06, 2006

Stupid Irony

Courtesy Wonkette

That's comedy right there!

A Stupid First, and Probably Only

[Ed. note: when I attempted to post this originally, as far as I know, The Stupid was the penultimate in presenting this irony to the people of America. But, due to some vast Right Wing plot, no doubt orchestrated by Donald Rumsfeld and Ted "Tubes" Stevens, I have been unable to post this until now. Read and enjoy, and know that I said it first!]

Breaking the Silence:

Next week Americans will vote for candidates who have spent much of their campaigns addressing state and local issues. But no future historian will linger over the ideas put forth for improving schools or directing funds to highway projects.
It should surprise few readers that we think a vote that is seen—in America and the world at large—as a decisive “No” vote on the Bush presidency is the best outcome.

It should surprise a few of my readers (as if there are more than two, counting me) that the American Spectator has reached the same conclusion I have. Granted, it took them 6 years longer to reach that conclusion, but better late than never, huh?

[P.S. Vote, dammit. Especially if you are a woman in your 20s. I care who you vote for, but, more important to me is that you vote at all. If you don't let your voice be heard, well, then, nobody will listen to you. Or something. Point is: vote.]

More stupid software problems

I am still having problems posting consistently, and I've not been able to publish comments since at least Friday.

If you've posted a comment, please don't think I am trying to censor you; believe me, I am a bit of a comment whore, so I would never do that.

Plus, I've got a wicked entry I wanted to post last night (it's on my laptop at home and I am blogging from work).

So, don't you dare vote tomorrow before reading my "A Stupid First and Probably Only" post, which will hopefully be up tonight.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Stupid Being Childish

Look, I know the bird (or "the road rage finger," as Stupid Girl, Jr. refers to it) is childish. Sue me.

Stupid Confessions, An Unsurprising Update

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (AP) - The Rev. Ted Haggard agreed to resign Saturday from his New Life Church after its independent investigative board recommended removal, saying he was guilty ``of sexually immoral conduct.''

``We, the Overseer Board of New Life Church, have concluded our deliberations concerning the moral failings of Pastor Ted Haggard,'' a statement from the church said. ``Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct.''

Okay, boys and girls. Who here is shocked?

I do hope his family heals soon.

Betty Bowers' take on it (WARNING: NSFW or for small children's eyes)

Stupid Software Problems

There appears to be some issue with my "moderate comments" thing, so for those of you who commented on my posts last night/this morning, thanks for the comments, and hopefully, they'll be up for the world to see soon.

And if you're inside reading this, shut off your computer and get your tushy outside and play. It's gorgeous out.

Friday, November 03, 2006


Racial slur hurled at crowd gathered to support Ford

Supporters gathered to welcome U.S. Senate candidate Harold Ford to
Franklin were shocked at the outburst of an unidentified passerby who shouted
racial slurs and sexual innuendos at the crowd.

I don't have anything I could possibly say in response to this. The world is populated by idiots

Stupid Confessions

It was 14 years and a dozen lifetimes ago, but I did not believe Bill Clinton when he said he had never inhaled.

Now, I am older, hopefully wiser, and definitely more sensitive to the odor of pure BS.

I don't believe Ted Haggard bought the crank and then didn't use it. I mean, maybe he did. And maybe flaming balls of purple fire are going to fall out of the sky precisely at 1500 hours Central Time today.

I'm just not buying it.

With that said, everybody should read Kat Cobel's take on it.

[5:07pm Update: Haggard Admits Buying Drugs, Getting Massage. I suspect the confession is not quite in toto. And 1500 passed with nary a ball of fire of any color dropping from the sky.]

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Stupid War, Stupid Lies; Stupid Lies about a Stupid War

From Editor and Publisher:
Now we learn that one of the first female soldiers killed in Iraq died by her own hand after objecting to interrogation techniques used on prisoners.

She was Army specialist Alyssa Peterson, 27, a Flagstaff, Az., native serving with C Company, 311th Military Intelligence BN, 101st Airborne. Peterson was an Arabic-speaking interrogator assigned to the prison at our air base in troubled Tal-Afar in northwestern Iraq. According to official records, she died on Sept. 15, 2003, from a “non-hostile weapons discharge.”


“Peterson objected to the interrogation techniques used on prisoners. She refused to participate after only two nights working in the unit known as the cage. Army spokespersons for her unit have refused to describe the interrogation techniques Alyssa objected to. They say all records of those techniques have now been destroyed….”

She was was then assigned to the base gate, where she monitored Iraqi guards, and sent to suicide prevention training. “But on the night of September 15th, 2003, Army investigators concluded she shot and killed herself with her service rifle,” the documents disclose.
A couple things here: for some reason I have been unable to ascertain, this war, or at least how it has been portrayed on television, has been essentially bloodless. In fact, until recently, the media hasn't been able to show pictures of caskets containing the remains of our dead coming home.

I have a problem with that.

Wars kill people.

Let me say that again in a different way: when nations go to war, people die.

Got it?

So, when a government hides the manner in which their servicemen and women die, it should make people wonder why they are withholding that information. What does the administration have to gain by keeping the cause of this woman's death secret? What about Pat Tillman's?

While I write a blog about Stupidity, I am not a stupid person. I know that there will be few people who will demand their government be honest with them. I mean, we haven't for the past six years, have we? Those who have demanded such a thing have been called "traitors" and "America haters" by those sheeple who prefer to remain ignorant (and who, in an odd twist of fate, also have the biggest mouths by far).

If the administration would lie about these relatively insignificant things*, what wouldn't they lie about?

Oh...wait....I think we haven't reached the bottom of the barrel of what they'll lie about.

*For the record (and I include this because somebody's going to pooh their pants saying The Stupid Girl said the death of our servicemembers is insignificant), the death of any human being is not insignificant. The death of any of my brothers and sisters affects me and the family of humans. However, while their deaths are significant, the manner of their death is merely a small detail relative to the fact that they died in a war.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Stupid, pointless, potentially fatal airline restrictions

Airline's medicine ban leaves passenger in coma

A diabetic man fell into a coma because airport staff refused to let him take his insulin on board a flight from Auckland to Christchurch.
Qantas yesterday apologised to Tui Peter Russell, who had a severe attack on the plane and was in hospital for two weeks.
Mr Russell said check-in staff at Auckland Airport told him he could not take his medication on board because it was dangerous.

He started feeling ill during the flight last month and called a flight attendant.
"They asked where the insulin was, and they weren't very happy when they found out I wasn't allowed to bring it on board."

The good thing is Mr. Russell survived; the flight crew appears to have handled themselves very well and did their best to care for him when he became ill. It's the braintrust on the ground who didn't allow him to take his medicine onboard that I worry about.

Hopefully, some corrective training was conducted with a quickness.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Stupid Blog of the Day

I don't make a habit of calling out other bloggers for their stupidity. Quite honestly, there is so much stupidity going on in the blogisphere that it seems a little redundant for me to waste pixels talking about it here.


Well, just click on the link, and let Toni speak for herself.

Here, by the way, is the text of the amendment. You'll see in paragraph 2(1) that cloning is prohibited. So, Toni calling it the "cloning amendment" while she's excoriating someone else for not reading the amendment is not only Stupid, it is delicious irony.

Congratulations, Toni.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

A Stupid Sunday Quickie

If you haven't figured out how to drive your car forward yet, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not try to back up your 97-passenger SUV into a compact-only parking space.

That is all.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Slumber parties and Abba

Tonight is Little Stupid Girl's birthday party. She kept it small and sane (thank the Gods): 2 girls, roller skating, and "slumbering." Her friends are delightful children, and, because they like my daughter, they obviously have exquisite taste.

When I picked them up from the skating rink, I was playing the Mamma Mia! soundtrack. Imagine my surprise, not to mention, delight, when three little barely pubescent voices all shriek from the back seat: I love this song!!!

Being the oh-so-cool mom I am, I cranked it, and we drove around town singing along with it until we were all hoarse. We stopped at Wendy's for frostys to ease our throats, and then came home. And I think they're already asleep, even though I told them they got an extra hour of sleep for daylight savings time.

What little angels!

P.S. Don't forget to check the batteries in your smoke detector, dear readers!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Halloween reminisences

Because brittney promised me a dollar to not post about politics today, I am going to indulge her. A dollar's a dollar, after all!

Today, Sista Smiff says all I've ever wanted to say about the evangelical "Trunk or Treat" movement.

I grew up in the north, where we usually had at least one snowfall of some significance by Halloween, and, regardless of how great a seamstress your mother was (mine was great, btw), nobody could see your costume underneath your winter coat, anyway.

When I was young, my mom always made sure I had great costumes. When I was 5, I was Raggedy Ann, complete with a wig made from red yarn and a stocking cap. I tore a hole in my stripey tights when I tripped while running over to our neighbor's house and skinned my knee. My favorite costume was when I was in 3rd grade and we were living in teeny, tiny Royalton, Minnesota. My mom and my Aunt Christina got together and made a scarecrow costume for me out of burlap, complete with straw hanging out the cuffs of my top and pants. It looked really great; even now, 25 or so years later, I remember how itchy it was.

Now, our children are growing up in the south, and they are having a much different Halloween experience than I did. I do not believe that my childhood was any sort of rarefied experience, and I certainly don't think that it was any sort of more innocent time or any of that rot; it was a different time, and that's about it. Anyway. My daughter has never had to wear a winter coat over her costume, so nobody's ever been able to mistake her very-obviously-purchased-at-Party-City costumes for one lovingly sewn by her mother (my daughter's mother doesn't sew; she did take Home Ec. and failed the sewing part). And she doesn't particularly care for candy, either, which I find a little odd; a typical pre-Christmas task is dumping her plastic jack-o-lantern still full of T-or-T loot in the trash.

Today is Little Stupid Girl's 12th birthday, by the way. She got a cellphone. In the months leading up to this day, she lamented how everybody she knew had cellphones except her. I kept reminding her that I didn't get my first cellphone until I was 30. It was an artful dodge; she had no idea what she was getting.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

A Stupid Three-fer

Sorry, guys. I hope I'm not boring you, but, for some reason, I let this stupid slip my mind. But it's a doozy, and, while it's blogged everywhere, who am I if not a hanger-on. And, if it gives me the opportunity to call Rush Limbaugh stupid, well, what's a girl to do?

Well, if that girl were James Boyce, she would call him Winner Of The 2006 Swift Boat Asshole In Action Award.

But, I'm not James Boyce, so I'll leave that to him.

But here's why, exactly, Rush is both stupid, and an asshole.

I can't believe he'd mess with Marty McFly like that. He does resemble Biff a little bit, though, doesn't he? Big fat bully.

I voted!

My voting streak remain solid: I haven't missed voting in an election since 1988. Yay, me!

I cast my vote this afternoon at my local branch library. While waiting on line, the man in front of me let his party affiliation be known with the utterance of a liberal code word. There were four of us all together on line, and we bonded. It was a pond of blue in what was, I suspect, a sea of red.

A big shout out to Jo Fish, an obvious America Hater! I stumbled onto his blog this afternoon, and I highly recommend it, particularly for his perspective on issues as a veteran.

Stupid Political Angst

I am a partisan, by and large. I am a Democrat. I live in a Democratic city/county metro area which is ringed by Republican counties. Because of my proximity to one of those Republican counties, I live in a gerrymandered district. Because of that, I am represented in the US Congress by the most Republican of the Republicans, Marsha Blackburn. I have, in the past, when I was younger and idealistic and thought that my representative would be interested in my views, communicated with Ms Blackburn. And Lamar, for that matter. I have not ever written to Senator Dr. Video Diagnosis, but a girl has to have standards, even a Stupid Girl. But I digress. My communications with Ms Blackburn were, in a word, unsatisfying. I would tell her how I felt about something, and she would send a form-letter back telling me she was acting in a diametrically-opposed way to what I would want her to. I forgot she's got a few hundred thousand others to represent, as well. Guess I can't be the Princess of TN-07, can I? sigh

Anyway. The point is, I am a Democrat.

I am pro-gay marriage (or anti-marriage discrimination), anti-Social Security privatization, against the war in Iraq, and anti-USA PATRIOT Act. I think that we should treat "enemy combatants" as POWs, and I think that everybody who has been arrested by US law enforcement should be entitled to habeus corpus, as well as other provisions of the US Constitution. I think rights should be given liberally and only given up if the government has a compelling reason to withhold them. I also believe that money spent on social programs is better than money spent on corrections programs.

I am also in favor of balanced budgets. I am wildly uncomfortable with our role as hegemon. We have a massive military (our military spending as a percentage of the GNP was greater than the #2-#13 countries combined), and, because of that, we tend to view all the world's problems as issues to be solved militarily.

So, obviously I'm not going to vote for Bob Corker. Not just because he's a Republican, but because he's conducted his campaign in a sleazy manner. I still don't know where he stands on any of the issues that matter to me and my family. So, that's a big no for Bob.

Which leaves me Harold Ford, Jr. He seems like he would be the perfect choice for me, since we are the same age, same skin tone, same party. But Congressman Ford and I have very serious differences of opinions about many issues that are important to me. I hate that he has stated he is in support of Amendment 1. I hate that he voted for USA PATRIOT Act. I hate that he voted for the war in Iraq.

I have a very hard time being comfortable with those things. Voting for Ford has never been a done deal for me. I was really pulling for Rosalind Kurita last year before her campaign was done in. I didn't agree with everything Senator Kurita stood for, either, but, at least last year, I could work with those disagreements.

So, I should just refrain from voting for either, right?

And that is what I would do if not for the 2000, 2002, and 2004 election cycles. I don't think that my vote is just my own anymore.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Stupid Political Blog Post #1

MT. JULIET — The Scappaticci family came prepared for Tuesday night's outdoor prayer rally: They came early, brought a cooler of food and drinks, and even a football to toss about.

Stephan and Susan Scappaticci acknowledged they know very little about the American Civil Liberties Union or all the particulars of a recent lawsuit filed by the group's Tennessee chapter against Lakeview Elementary, the school where their young children, third grade and kindergarten, attend.

But the couple — he's a teacher in Metro schools — said worse things could happen than having "our children prayed over."

Ah, yes, Mr. and Mrs. Scappaticci, there are worse things that could happen than having your children prayed over. For example, your school district could go broke defending itself against an ACLU lawsuit that only the truly stupid could not have seen coming.

A hint for all you Christianists: Prayer in school is a long-settled issue in the law. It's okay if kids do it silently. It's okay if kids decide to meet around the flagpole before school and pray. It may be okay for parents to meet in the school before classes start and pray. It is never okay for a teacher to lead a class in prayer.

Any questions?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I am torn

My university degree is in political science, specifically international relations, and I love politics. However, I have resisted the temptation to do a political blog. The Stupid has been able to remain alive even while being neglected, mostly because its charm doesn't rely on timeliness to be relevant. Political blogs, particularly during election seasons, require a lot of attention, and, to be honest, I am really not ready for that kind of committment.

At least, not a long term committment.

A short term committment? Well, that is something I am totally into!

So, dear readers, The Stupid is going to shift gears for a little while to focus on campaign/elections stupidity. Lord knows, those of us living here know how stupid campaigns can be.

I know that I am a Jane-Come-Lately to the deal, but...whatever. Let's have a little fun with this thing!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Outsourcing for dummies!

This is yet another Craigslist discovery .

I am glad that companies can hire individual university-educated Phillipinos for less than $7/hour without the fuss and muss of actually travelling to Manila.

I can't begin to imagine why the terrorists hate us; we should be using up all the hate doing some well-deserved self-loathing.

[While we're about Craigslist, if you are an up-and-coming Republican wanna-be legislator married to a star of any genre, do not use Craigslist to find a date. You will get caught. Oh, and if you're gonna watch porn, make sure the kids are in bed and close the damn door, you moron.]

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Stupid "News"

Sadly, they don't have it posted on their website, but just moments ago, "News"Channel 5 had a report about why the number of hours of daylight varies. Complete with animation of the sun, with the Earth orbiting around it, tilting toward and away from the sun.

Is that really considered news?

And I love Neil O'Donnell. I have been a fan for a long, long time. I loved Neil when nobody else loved Neil. But oh, sweet Jesus, he's just not a sports broadcaster. Watching him is like agony for me...I always lean forward in my seat, holding my breath, nearly physically (as opposed to metaphorically) pulling for him. *sigh*

Ah well.

Friday, September 15, 2006

The Feline Jihad

From Yahoo! News:
RED BANK, Tenn. - Police are investigating after a man wrote about launching a "feline jihad" to rid his Chattanooga suburb of stray cats.

Max Gerskin wrote a two-part series in the Chattanooga Pulse weekly publication, the first of which was published Aug. 9 and titled, "Madder Max: The Cat Lady and My New Dog." The second installment was published Wednesday and titled, "Feline Jihad: The Cat Lady, Part II."

In his commentary, Gerskin said the strays fed by a "neighborhood cat lady" have brought filth and disease to his home, and local Humane Society officials haven't been able to stop it.

As a result, he wrote, "I've officially become a trapper and it's time to take a walk to the river."

Gerskin did not respond to requests for comment, but he posted an online response Sunday at He wrote that he has not been trying to kill the cats and was using Humane Society traps to help get them to safe homes.

Yeah, he sounds like a real humanitarian!

Here's video of the newsstory.

Big props to Erin for turning me on to this particular story. For those of you who don't know, Erin is my now-former co-worker and office mate. Our job consists (or in my case, consisted) of each of us surfing the internet, making snarky comments to each other about the stuff we read. Really, without Erin's influence, The Stupid would never have come to be. And the world would be a much more stupid place!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Stupid Craigslist ad

This is a casting call for a television show called "The War at Home." It is a pretty funny show, plus Michael Rapaport is in it, and, ever since I saw him in "Zebrahead" a million years ago, I have been a fan.

What qualifies the casting call as The Stupid of The Day is the requirements for the role:

MALE - 30-40s, to play Jesus Christ, appears in a confessional. Must look like Jesus Christ...

I'm just curious what Jesus Christ looks like. Is the Orthodox Jesus closer than the Catholic "Sacred Heart of Jesus" Jesus?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting This Jesus?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Or this Jesus?

Monday, September 11, 2006

A Stupid Bonus

From today's Old Farmer's Almanac:

Today in History
Died: Johnny Unitas (football player), 2002.

And there ya have it, folks: on September 11, 2002, Johnny Unitas died. And that is all that happened on this date.

Stupid Car Dealer Ads

(Sorry for my extended absence. You see, I have been offered a new job, and I have been quite surprised about how that simple act has changed my outlook. My daily quest for The Stupid of The Day has been much more difficult. Could the mission of the blog have been reached so soon? Lucky for you, dear Reader, the answer to that question is: No. Not by a long shot. Read on.)

Okay, today's The Stupid of The Day is not actually car dealer ads. I mean, that is just incredibly obvious, right, particularly in a state such as mine that has extrodinarily weak consumer protection laws. But, car dealer ads have one thing in common with The Actual Stupid of The Day, which goes to ABC's "fakeumentary," "The Path to 9/11." And that is that they both perpetuate untruths.

So much has been said about this, that I'll let Crooks and Liars do my talking for me on this issue.

[A big shout out to Mr. Stupid Girl for noticing I failed to post what car dealer ads and the movie have in common initially.]

9/12/06: I present for my Dear Readers' enjoyment: The Path to 9/11: Deleted Scenes

Who loves ya, babies?