Stupid "News"

Sadly, they don't have it posted on their website, but just moments ago, "News"Channel 5 had a report about why the number of hours of daylight varies. Complete with animation of the sun, with the Earth orbiting around it, tilting toward and away from the sun.

Is that really considered news?

And I love Neil O'Donnell. I have been a fan for a long, long time. I loved Neil when nobody else loved Neil. But oh, sweet Jesus, he's just not a sports broadcaster. Watching him is like agony for me...I always lean forward in my seat, holding my breath, nearly physically (as opposed to metaphorically) pulling for him. *sigh*

Ah well.

The Feline Jihad

From Yahoo! News:

RED BANK, Tenn. - Police are investigating after a man wrote about launching a "feline jihad" to rid his Chattanooga suburb of stray cats.

Max Gerskin wrote a two-part series in the Chattanooga Pulse weekly publication, the first of which was published Aug. 9 and titled, "Madder Max: The Cat Lady and My New Dog." The second installment was published Wednesday and titled, "Feline Jihad: The Cat Lady, Part II."

In his commentary, Gerskin said the strays fed by a "neighborhood cat lady" have brought filth and disease to his home, and local Humane Society officials haven't been able to stop it.

As a result, he wrote, "I've officially become a trapper and it's time to take a walk to the river."

Gerskin did not respond to requests for comment, but he posted an online response Sunday at http://www.chattanoogapulse.com. He wrote that he has not been trying to kill the cats and was using Humane Society traps to help get them to safe homes.

Yeah, he sounds like a real humanitarian!

Here's video of the newsstory.


Big props to Erin for turning me on to this particular story. For those of you who don't know, Erin is my now-former co-worker and office mate. Our job consists (or in my case, consisted) of each of us surfing the internet, making snarky comments to each other about the stuff we read. Really, without Erin's influence, The Stupid would never have come to be. And the world would be a much more stupid place!

The Stupid Craigslist ad

This is a casting call for a television show called "The War at Home." It is a pretty funny show, plus Michael Rapaport is in it, and, ever since I saw him in "Zebrahead" a million years ago, I have been a fan.

What qualifies the casting call as The Stupid of The Day is the requirements for the role:

MALE - 30-40s, to play Jesus Christ, appears in a confessional. Must look like Jesus Christ...

I'm just curious what Jesus Christ looks like. Is the Orthodox Jesus closer than the Catholic "Sacred Heart of Jesus" Jesus?

This Jesus?

Or this Jesus?

A Stupid Bonus

From today's Old Farmer's Almanac:

Today in History
	Died: Johnny Unitas (football player), 2002.

And there ya have it, folks: on September 11, 2002, Johnny Unitas died. And that is all that happened on this date.

Stupid Car Dealer Ads

(Sorry for my extended absence. You see, I have been offered a new job, and I have been quite surprised about how that simple act has changed my outlook. My daily quest for The Stupid of The Day has been much more difficult. Could the mission of the blog have been reached so soon? Lucky for you, dear Reader, the answer to that question is: No. Not by a long shot. Read on.)

Okay, today's The Stupid of The Day is not actually car dealer ads. I mean, that is just incredibly obvious, right, particularly in a state such as mine that has extrodinarily weak consumer protection laws. But, car dealer ads have one thing in common with The Actual Stupid of The Day, which goes to ABC's "fakeumentary," "The Path to 9/11." And that is that they both perpetuate untruths.

So much has been said about this, that I'll let Crooks and Liars do my talking for me on this issue.

[A big shout out to Mr. Stupid Girl for noticing I failed to post what car dealer ads and the movie have in common initially.]


9/12/06: I present for my Dear Readers' enjoyment: The Path to 9/11: Deleted Scenes

Who loves ya, babies?

The Yahoo! saga continues

I promise to post the entertaining email exchanges soon. Though I doubt anybody finds them as entertaining as I do, I did promise Yahoo! in my last email to continue documenting their stupidity.

Stupid Yahoo!

I have had issues with my Yahoo mail over the course of the past week or so; I am, several times during the day, unable to access my email account. The inaccessability doesn't last long, but it is quite annoying, and stuff that doesn't work the way it should is irritating.

So, I present to you now the email exchanges between Yahoo! Customer "Care" and me (please note that the first email comes from Yahoo! as a response to my initial inquiry through the website):

*****

August 16, 2006

From: Yahoo
To: Me

Thank you for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care to answer your
question. A support representative will get back to you within 24 hours
regarding your issue.

*****

August 17, 2006

No communication

*****

August 18, 2006

From: Me
To: Yahoo

I have yet to receive contact about my issue.

When shall I expect that to happen?

*****

From: Yahoo
To: Me

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Mail.

We believe that the incident that you've described may be a
transient one. Please check your account again to see if the problem you
were reporting may be resolved.

If you continue to have problems, please try logging out and then
logging back into the account. If the problem continues, please
let us know. In your reply, please provide us with your steps to
duplicate the issue, along with permission to access the account in order to
troubleshoot further.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,
[Name Withheld 1]
Yahoo! Customer Care

*****

From: Me
To: Yahoo

The problem is "transient" in that it happens for a couple of days, then it stops for a couple of days, then it comes back for a couple of days.

We are on a "it comes back for a couple of days" part of the cycle
now.

The problem occurs when I attempt to check my email. I do nothing
but click on the mail icon at my.yahoo.com. Logging out and logging back in
does not help, nor does using a different computer.

Before I will give permission to access my account, I must know what
you would do with the account in order to correct the problem.

*****

August 19, 2006

No communication

*****

August 20, 2006

No communication

*****

August 21, 2006

No communication

*****

August 22, 2006

No communication

*****

August 23, 2006

From: Yahoo
To: Me

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Mail.

We appreciate you bringing this concern to our attention. We've
investigated and checked your account, but could not duplicate the
issue. The error you described appears to have been temporary and
is now resolved. Please try accessing your account again.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

[Name Withheld 2]

Yahoo! Customer Care

*****

From: Me
To: Yahoo

It is not resolved.

*****

From: Yahoo
To: Me

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Mail.

We share your concern and appreciate you bringing this to our
attention.

We've been unable to reproduce the symptom you've described after
completing our investigation. The issue appears resolved now and may
have been due to temporary network or server conditions.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

[Name Withheld 2]

Yahoo! Customer Care

*****

From: Me
To: Yahoo

If the servers are having "temporary issues," then they are frequently
recurring temproray issues.

The problem *still* is not resolved, as I am still having frequent
issues accessing my email.

*****

From: Yahoo
To: Me

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Mail.

We're sorry to hear about the difficulties you've encountered. After
testing your account, we've been unable to duplicate the symptoms.
Since the issue appears to be temporary, please try accessing your
account again after some time.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

[Name Withheld 2]

Yahoo! Customer Care

*****

From: Me
To: Yahoo

Is anybody *actually* reading the responses I am sending?

The issue may be temporary and transient, but, it is recurring, so it isn't "resolved."

*****

fin

*sigh*

I also received this email, in the middle of my conversations with [Name Withheld 2]:

Dear Valued Yahoo! Customer,

At Yahoo!, your satisfaction matters more than anything else. In order to meet your needs and preferences, we invite you to share your thoughts with us about your recent experience with Yahoo! Customer Care in a brief online survey.

To access our survey, please click on the link below.

[url removed]

Thanks for participating! We always appreciate your feedback and thoughtful suggestions.

Sincerely,

Yahoo! Customer Care

*****

Look, I understand things break. And I can accept "we're not exactly sure what is causing your problem, but we're working on it" as a response. But, Corporate America: stop telling people issues are resolved when they are not. And, please, stop insisting issues are resolved when end-users keep telling you that the problem is, in fact, still occurring. Don't treat your customers like they're stupid.

Stupid Irony

Governor Phil "I made my millions selling health insurance and then proposed cutting nearly 1/2 a million adults from my state's Medicaid rolls when I became governor" Bredesen spent nearly a week in the hospital suffering from a reaction to a tick bite. That really sucks. However, he is apparently not recovering well, because he will be traveling to Rochester, Minnesota, to seek treatment at the Mayo Clinic. That really, really sucks.

The ironic part: he has the opportunity to seek treatment at the Mayo Clinic. Jim Bryant, whose Tenncare coverage was capped by Governor Bredesen, did not even have the opportunity to receive the lifesaving medications he needed at his local pharmacy.

I am grateful that the Governor has the opportunity to access care at Mayo Clinic. They took care of my Grandma Greene during the last years of her life in the late 70s, and right now, a dear friend is under their care. It is a fabulous place (well, several places now, really), and represent the finest the American health care system has to offer.

If I had the opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with the governor, I would ask that he take this opportunity to ask himself if quality healthcare is a right or a privilege.

Another Stupid Driver

We just returned home from taking the kids to see the Nashville Shakespeare Company's presentation of Macbeth at Centennial Park. I was gonna blog about the girl who sat next to me who, not three minutes after the audience was asked to silence their cellphones and, if they had to, take their calls outside the seating area, placed a cellphone call looking for some guy's number. If you see Syd, by the way, tell him somebody's looking for him. After the intermission, she decided she was going to be part of the percussion section, and began rhythmically beating her empty water bottle on her foot and leg. *sigh*

But no, it looks like the guy driving the khaki colored Explorer SportTrack (with a topper, go figure) , Williamson county plate "HEDHUNER" (I don't make these things up, people, honest) is The Stupid of the day. What with the treating West End as if it were the far straightaway at Bristol, to the jetting over three lanes on I-65 (sans turn signal, natch), when the other three lanes were bereft of cars, only to slow down to 45 miles per hour about 1/3 mile down the road to pay homage to the shiny blue lights flashing on the side of the road, this guy was a jackass, plain and simple.

I know, I know. I shouldn't let these things bother me, and, honest, I am trying to let this stuff roll of my back. But stupid drivers continually put me and my family at risk, and I have had enough.

I think it is time that drivers education be made mandatory in Tennessee. I would also be in favor of making that a retroactive requirement.

I won't hold my breath, though.

The Stupid Sports Injury

Titans mascot injures opposing QB

Really, must I say any more?

I know, I know; the mascot didn't mean to. But maybe, just maybe, T-Rac knows something we don't.

A Hiatus in Celebration

Hooray, it is the first day of school...

The Stupid is taking today off in order to celebrate!

Today's Stupid Driver

I know it is very early in the day to award the day's Stupid. But sometimes, the daily penultimate stupid occurs in the somewhat early hours, as was the case today.

As Mr. The Stupid Girl and one of our many, many feline friends were riding home from the vet, I noticed a Metro police officer. I love cops. They do a job I could never do in a million years. But I have noticed that Metro cops are among the worst violators of traffic law in town.

Today, whichever Metro officer who drives car #7242 was engaged in some very intense conversation over his mobile phone. I mean, I couldn't hear anything he was saying, nor could I read his lips, nor was he gesturing wildly. But, the conversation must have been intense because in the two miles or so I followed him, he executed no fewer than six lane changes, and never used his directional to indicate his intentions. He also failed to cite the driver in front of him who ran a red light at Nolensville Road/Harding Place, rated one of Metro's ten most dangerous intersections. But I don't want to pile on.

Chief Serpas, it's time to get your officers squared away. Start making them obey the rules of the road. And citing those who do not.

The Stupid Pundits, Part 2

A better title for this blog might be "Stupid Political Strategists," but an occasional part deux is good for the soul.

Anyway, Senator Lincoln Chafee (R, RI) has evidently rankled the Republican interest group Club for Growth. Because of that, the Club for Growth is endorsing Chafee's opponent in the Republican primary for candidate of the Senate.

And, strangely enough, Ken "Bud" Mehlman is silent on the issue. That is quite a change from his pro-Lieberman lovefest Mehlman hosted just a few days ago. By the way, Mehlman has thus far refused to commit RNC resources to win Connecticut's Senate seat.

And, while it seems counterintuitive for The Stupid to make a book recommendation, if you haven't picked up Conservatives Without Conscience, I implore you to do so now.

I got The Stupid again, a blog in two acts

One reason I decided to start this blog is because I see some pretty ridiculous things during the course of my day, and I think it would be a shame to not document those things for...ya know...whatever. But, in order to document those things, I must remember to bring some sort of recording device with me where ever I may roam. I forgot to do so yesterday, and so I missed the opportunity to document the Stupid of The Day. Dear reader, I must beg your forgiveness as I describe with words what I saw.

Monday was Mr. Stupid Girl and mine anniversary, so, because we are crazy romantic kids, we decided to see Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Due to crazy scheduling issues we weren't able to go see it until Wednesday, but that's okay, because it was still really romantic.

Anyway, it was raining when we got to the theater, one of those sudden downpours in which God wrings out his very, very wet sponge all over your head. Which is good, because we need the rain. But I digress.

There are few people in the theater because it's just 6:30 or so, and it's Wednesday night, and many people around here go to church on Wednesday nights, but, there are a few people there.

Including someone who was, apparently, moving. On top of a Ford Aerostar was someone's bed. A queen size mattress and box springs. On top of a van. In the rain. At the Hollywood 27 mulitplex.

Granted, these pieces had all seen better days (the mattress/box springs, and van, and, for that matter, the Hollywood 27), but the bed appeared to be functional, in that there was no evidence that they were being used by vermin large enough to see with the naked eye as a home.

I have moved a lot of times in my life, and every single time, without exception, I would have much rather have been at the movies. But I never took a break in the middle of moving to catch a show. Maybe that's just me.

There was also a NewsChannel 5 satellite truck in the lot when we arrived. There was no sign of anybody connected to the truck, but it was there nonetheless.

Anyway, the van and the mattresses were still there when we left, though the Channel 5 truck was gone, replaced by a Fox17 news truck, with reporter, cameraman, and lights. So, if anybody knows what happened yesterday at the Hollywood 27, drop me a line, because there was nothing newsworthy happening that we could see.

The Stupid Pundits

Lieberman v. Lamont is a great race, to be sure. It is a rare thing when an incumbent Senator faces serious competition in his own party's primary. Quite frankly, I think that every incumbent should be made to defend his/her seat in every election, including primaries. But that is a topic for another day.

But, what is stupid is the punditocracy (and Lieberman) declaring that if Lamont wins, the Democratic party doesn't have room for diversity of opinions.

Horsehockey, Joe. What it means is that the voters in Connecticut think that Lamont will better act on their views than Lieberman will. Only the extremists are calling for Lieberman to leave the party. "Diversity of opinions" works both ways, folks.

Stupid Government Policies

Yet another Arab linguist has been discharged from the Army under "don't ask, don't tell."

Before anybody starts with me, I am a veteran of the United States Navy. I am the sister, daughter, granddaughter, great-granddaughter, and niece of veterans. I am now and have always been a supporter of my nation's fighting forces.

I was also a Clinton supporter (and to dispel any myths about how "horrible" Clinton was to the military, the fact is that military pay raises were greater under Clinton than Reagan and Bush I, not to mention nearly doubling GI Bill payments, making him a pretty pro-military president in my book).

But, Don't Ask, Don't Tell is a stupid policy, particularly as it regards critical positions. According to the article, quoting the government Accounting Office, of the 11,000 servicemembers discharged under DADT, 800 had "critical abilities, including 300 with important language skills."

Can we as a nation afford the loss of 300 linguists for something as so unrelated to their positions as who they are sexually attracted to?

Isn't it about time we as a society lose the homophobia?

In Mourning

Yesterday, a dear family friend died. He was only 42 years old. He leaves behind broken-hearted parents, 3 brothers, and a sister, as well as many nieces and nephews, not to mention friends who loved him very much.

Rest in peace, Bruce.

The Stupid Human Characteristic

Pride. Oh, pride goeth before the fall, I heard somewhere.

I pride myself on my cooking skills. I am a really good cook, as my girthiness will attest. I was raised by a mother who is an excellent cook, who, in turn, was raised by her incredible cook of a mother. Both my mother and my grandmother have (or, in Grandma Greene's case, had) skills in baking that I have yet to attain. I mean, I can bake a mean batch of snickerdoodles, and my cakes are certainly edible. But I have never been able to make a pie crust that was worth the effort it took to make it.

Until today.

Today, I slew my albatross. I conquered my deamon. I succeeded in making a pie crust that holds in its embrace a blueberry pie that will be lovely when it is finally devoured by my now-drooling family.

Here is photographic evidence:



Lookit that! Isn't it lovely? Is it not tempting you? Don't you wish you could be at my house right now, waiting in anticipation for some of that delicious pie?

Of course you are, you dear thing you.

But why, you ask, quizzical expression on your face, is this worthy of The Stupid? Well, I just looked in my fridge, and lookit what I found on the top shelf, nestled next to the ranch dressing and food-service sized jar of minced garlic:



That's right. Pre-made pie crusts that I had already paid for. We could have been eating blueberry pie ages ago had I but noticed that I already had pie crusts in the Fridgidaire*, just waiting to be eaten.

Even I, dear reader, am not immune to The Stupid.

Have a great weekend!

__________________

*My other grandmother called whatever box-like appliance that kept her food cold a "Fridgidaire," regardless of the brand she had at the time.

The stupid thing I saw today

I love craigslist. It is a pleasure to read and it is a fine way to pass time. I love reading the lunatics' rantings in the "rant and rave" section, and my romantic self loves reading the "missed connection" section, hoping that someone will find love through some fleeting encounter.

I have learned though over the course of the last few weeks that the section with the most entertainment value is "resumes." In my opinion, it is the section with the worst writing. Most resumes posted there are poorly formatted (even by craigslist standards) and the grammar...oy. It is enough to make a word lover weep. Or laugh uproariously.

The stupid resume for today is an exception to that, however. Its formatting is not completely heinous, and the writing is not awful (though I would caution against putting one's references' contact information online). It is the headline that earned its place in The-Stupid Blog:

Very experienced resume!

If I were that resume, I think I might be offended by the disparagement of my character!

Stupid thing I read

I was dispairing this evening, thinking I had enjoyed a stupid-free day, and thus would have nothing to share with [both of] my readers.

But, fear not, dear readers, I did find something.

As I am sure you know, Andrea Yates was acquited by reason of insanity today.

This led me to reacquaint myself with some of the facts of the case, I found myself reading CourtTV's Crime Library which is normally outstanding. And, then, there it was. On page 6. I swear I heard a song from heaven break out, the angels themselves singing "Oh, Happy Day."

Okay, so it wasn't that dramatic, but it is a pretty stupid sentence:

They did not see the forewarning except in hindsight.

Yup. That is what it said. And, so, I have a reason to live another day.