Stupid Fred Thompson

In which I think the man has no idea what the mission of his campaign is:

I'm kind of a laid-back guy, but I've been hardworking and successful for a long, long time. I don't have to prove myself to anybody. I've done pretty well being me. And me is all they're going to get.

Campaigns are all about proving yourself to everybody. Well, not necessarily everybody, but a plurality, anyway. Cuz, you know, you need votes and stuff.

Stupid Court Opinions

It is okay for politicians to lie about each other in campaign ads. At least in Washington state.

Caveat emptor, everybody!

A Stupid Update

I know, I know. And I am sorry. Please forgive my long absence, but be well in knowing that I have been trying, with some measure of success, to get my personal life in order. It's been a very long year, but I am happy.

To update, Mr. Stupid Girl and I have decided to divorce. We are both great people (honest!), but we could not find a way to be the people we were meant to be together. We are both involved, however, with people who have somehow managed to find a way for us to thrive.

Lil Stupid Girl and I have moved to LaVergne, where we share our home with my fabulous new girlfriend, our cat, our dog, and our bird.

This summer has dragged on entirely too long, in my opinion, and the Titans? Yikes. I suppose a win is a win, but winning ugly will only last too long. Oh, and I am officially off the Vince Young bandwagon. And I love a QB who runs (John Elway is still one of my all-time favorites).

Thanks for checking in. I hope you all are well.

What are my favorite blogs, you ask?

Okay, so you didn't really ask. But now I bet you're wondering. Aren't you? See, nobody knows you like I do, dear reader.

And, to honor that, I will attempt to satisfy your newly-hatched curiosity.

I bookmark my blogs into categories, Political Blogs, Fun Blogs, and Food Blogs.

My very favorite political blog is, of course Wonkette (which is generally never safe for work [sorry about that, E!]). Its tagline used to read "Politics for People with Dirty Minds," and, since I am both a poli-sci major and a notorious perv, well, how could I help but love it. Be sure to read the comments, too, because they are among the snarkiest on the interwebs.

Fun Blogs have been a bit neglected by me lately, due to this whole first quarter of the year being equal parts swirling mass of major suckitude and the happiest moments of my life. But one fun blog I enjoy reading is Profiles in Toolness. Granted, not all of the contributors are great writers, but it does have moments of brilliance. I used to be an avid Television Without Pity reader when I really had shows I watched regularly. It was great when Trading Spaces was worth a damn. In fact, it was from TWoP that I learned my favorite non-swearing curse phrase: What the Frank? Oh, and the Six Feet Under recaps were awesome, too.

Now, Food Blogs always get my attention, and there are some fantastic ones. My all-time favorite food blog is Diary of The Food Whore, in which a caterer/restauranteur's brushes with truly (well, hopefully) unique diners are chronicled for humanity. If you recognize yourself among the patrons about whom she writes, I recommend you change your ways. She is a brilliant and funny writer. And, while I am totally omnivore, the Vegan Lunchbox diaries a mom's efforts to make interesting vegan lunches for her school-aged son. She has now published a cookbook. And I have never made lunches that look so good. Accidental Hedonist is an awesome mix of food and politics, often discussing where the two overlap. It tends to be the first site I go to when I hear of a food recall. This blog really opened me up to the illusion of safety of our nation's food supply.

So, I hope I've opened up new vistas on the 'net for friends, family, and total non-stalker-y strangers. Enjoy! Oh, and tell me what your favorite blog is. I love finding cool new ones.

(Oh, P.S. Nashville is Talking is a local favorite blog, which has its own special category, and that I forgot to mention.)

The Road is Long

The first quarter of this year has been quite a whirlwind. I have made great changes in my life in order to become the person I want to be, and that journey has proven to be a very difficult one.

Difficult choices have been made and innocent people have been hurt.

I can only pray those hearts will heal, and that this difficult journey will be worth the effort.

JL Kirk & Associates: Stupid Bullies

Read about it here

Truth is an absolute defense against libel.

Abecedarian

This must be the awesomest new word I have learned in a long time:

Abecedarian \ay-bee-see-DAIR-ee-uhn\, noun:
1. One who is learning the alphabet; hence, a beginner.
2. One engaged in teaching the alphabet.

adjective:
1. Pertaining to the letters of the alphabet.
2. Arranged alphabetically.
3. Rudimentary; elementary.

Courtesy: Dictionary.com

In Tennessee? In April!?

It snowed here today. Big fat flakes were whipping horizontally across the sky for a good 30 minutes this afternoon.

I have spent several Easters hunting eggs in the snow, but that was in places like Michigan and Minnesota. But this, my friends, was darn-near apocalyptic.

Maybe not apocalypse-worthy, but still, it was a sight to behold.

I, your humble blogger, have been nudged...

and, because I have a following (of one, apparently, but I'll take it), I will respond.

There is so much that is stupid going on in the world that it is difficult to focus on just one thing, but I will try. The Stupid i will tackle today is Bloggers Who Fear Intellectual Discourse.

Those of us who have spent any time on the internet, particularly blogs or message boards, have encountered people whose raison d'etre would appear to be pot-stirring. Those are folks who post provocative pieces, but, when challenged by commenters on those pieces, either delete the posts (Terry Frank) or respond by lashing out and name calling (Glen Dean). The latter of those two called me a bitch this week on NashvilleisTalking.com. To be fair, I baited him a bit, because he had, several months ago accused me of "flexing my intellectual dick" over at his place when I corrected his oh-so-misguided notion on something I can no longer recall.

Glen and Terry and their ilk seem to be afraid of challenging their deeply held notions, no matter how lacking in facts they seem to be. So their reaction is to lash out at those of us who aren't afraid of exposing their ideas (not to mention ideals) to intellectual rigor.

When did it become okay to be ignorant? And not just to be ignorant, but to embrace that ignorance with all the gusto to which Linus embraced his blanket? Heaven forfend someone tell those people their notions are misguided. Beware those who dare tell them they've got their facts wrong.

Bless their hearts.

Minneapolis cop calls Representative Ellison a "terrorist"

During a department ethics class, Lt. Bob Kroll, whose record speaks for itself, insinuated that Representative Keith Ellison is a terrorist because, well, Ellison is a *whisper* Muslim.

Here's a tip to wage slaves everywhere, if your department has to issue an apology for your inane statements, perhaps it would be wise of you to either STFU, or find another gig.

We live in the land of biblical idiots

I find this opinion piece both fascinating and troubling (here's a news report about Professor Prothero's article), being a not-so-recent transplant to the Bible Belt, who grew up in, by and large, in Utah, a Bible Belt in its own right. I also attend an evangelical, non-denominational mega-church-to-be. I mean, I think people should read the Bible because it is important literature. I also think people should read the Koran for the same reason. I think both should be taught as part of history, particularly as so much of western civilization concerns these two books.

But, when

50% of high school seniors think Sodom and Gomorrah were married

well, something needs to be done. And it leads me to wonder what is going on in Sunday schools. Anybody actually teaching the Bible?

Oh yeah, General Pace?

You're a dick.

I know that name-calling isn't mature or enlightened.

So what. I am no longer in the military, and I am no longer bound by the UCMJ.

You are a dick, and your bigotry is immoral.

Can't wait to see how many of the soldiers you commanded over the years come out.

Dick.

Nation's Top Cop a Big Fat Liar?

It would seem that when Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General of the United States, testified to the Senate recently, he failed to mention that the White House was deeply involved in the firing of federal prosecutors. While one of his "top aides," Kyle Samson, resigned Monday, apparently because he did not fully disclose to undisclosed "other Justice officials" the extent of then-White House counsel Harriet "I Was Nearly Promoted Beyond My Competence" Miers' involvement in the firing process, Mr. Gonzales did not make any mention of that in his sworn testimony to the Senate. Though he did say "mistakes were made" in handling the situation.

IOKIYAR, though, right?

100 years should be enough time

Sgt. Paul Cortez has been sentenced to 100 years for the rape and murder of a girl as well as the murders of three members of her family.

"I still don't have an answer," Cortez told the judge. "I don't know why. I wish I hadn't. The lives of four innocent people were taken. I want to apologize for all of the pain and suffering I have caused the al-Janabi family."

Hopefully sometime in the next 100 years, he'll be able to figure out why he committed such a monsterous act.

Seriously, folks, HOV lanes are not for single drivers

I don't know WTF is up with you people, but enough is enough, already. I counted 16 out of 20 cars in the HOV lanes, during restricted hours, with only one person (i.e. the driver) in them between Harding and Old Hickory Blvd on I-24 this afternoon.

What's the point in having them if Metro/THP aren't going to enforce them?

Food workers of the world, unite!

And read this blog.

Now, I am the first to admit I can be a bit difficult to please. Like Sally in When Harry Met Sally, I like things the way I like them. Unlike Sally, I do try to be reasonable when I am asking someone else to serve me my food, and I keep the "on the sides" and substitutions to a bare minimum, i.e. none.

I have eaten out a couple of times in my adult life, and one trend that is becoming glaringly obvious to me is this: regardless of how I request my food, I will get it thte way someone else thinks I should have it. Take the other night at the somewhat-recently reopened Texana. I ordered my ribeye medium rare. That means warm and pink on the inside. The only brown on the meat should be on its outside. But the meat that was presented to me was medium well. Not a huge deal, and, unlike other times, I didn't send it back because I was pretty damn hungry.

Today, I went to Arby's on a whim. [An aside: don't ever go to Arby's on a whim. It is an experience that needs to be worked up to.] I went through the drive through because it's really cold outside and I was coming back to the office to eat. I placed my order at the speaker then pulled around to the window where I was ignored for a few minutes. When attention was paid to me it was initially to give me the incorrect change, then to not hear me when I pointed out the incorrect change and what the correct change should have been, then to ignore me again when offering the same information, then to mishear my request for "more ketchup and some horsey sauce, please" as "Arby's sauce," then to mishear my re-request for "more ketchup and some horsey sauce" as "no, I couldn't possibly want more than one packet of ketchup to mask the flavor of your nasty-ass fries and some horsey sauce" as "some horsey sauce."

I never did get the right change, or enough ketchup.

So, food workers of the world, whether you are in fast food, or in fine dining, do one thing: give your customers what they ask for.

Thank you for your attention.

Oddest request of the day

I realize it is still early in the day, but I don't think anything is going to top the "I want a Big Butter Jesus" request made by Li'l Stupid Girl this morning.


I find myself longing, too, after a savior who is large, and made of butter.

Yum!

Let the "Anti-American" Commentary Begin!

The Dixie Chicks [deservedly] cleaned up at the Grammys last night.

I anticipate certain folks of a particular political bent will begin braying "the Grammy voters are, obviously, anti-American" spew soon.

Can't wait!

One small thing you do not know about me

I hate paperclips.

Today's Driving Annoyance: HOV Lanes

"HOV" is an abbreviation for High-Occupancy Vehicles. Find the definition for HOV here. In Tennessee, the Tennessee Department of Transportation has designated lanes on certain interstates to be reserved for HOVs only (plus motorcycles, and excluding vehicles with three axles or more) during certain hours. During those hours, those who are driving vehicles with one occupant are to stay out of HOV lanes, period. They are not passing lanes, nor should the single-occupant vehicle driver feel it is okay to use those lanes during those hours, even for passing (which you are doing on the left, which is progress, to be sure).

While there has been legislation presented in the past (as well as in other states) to open up HOV lanes to those single-occupant drivers of hybrids and/or low-emission vehicles, you would be hard pressed to prove to me, Mr. Driver of a 2001 GMC Pick-up Truck With No Passengers that your vehicle meets the statutory definition of a High-Occupancy Vehicle.

Cheif Serpas: y'all are missing a great revenue stream. Start patrolling I-24 Southbound during the afternoon rush, and I'll betcha you'll be making some serious scratch!

A potential candidate with actual experience

Governor Bill Richardson has always seemed to me to be a unique combination of wonky guy who is also able to connect with the public. He has served in the Cabinet, as well as Ambassador to the UN (where, as I recall, he was a lot more popular than our now-former Ambassador, John Bolton, was). Plus, he has the oh-so-important experience of being a chief executive of a governmental body (a.k.a. The Great State of New Mexico).

Gosh, it makes me wonder what it would be like to actually have someone with some actual experience take over the job in '09.

In other news, The Stupid will probably be on a sort of hiatus-like thing for a little while. I am not abadoning The Stupid, as my work here is obviously not done. I do have some very serious shit to deal with in my life right now, though, that is going to require as much of my attention as I can give it. And if you pray or vibe or whatever, The Stupid Family could really use some. Thanks.

Massive T-Mobile Outage

If you're a T-Mobile customer in Nashville and Memphis, Tennessee; Birmingham and Mobile, Alabama; and Louisville, Kentucky, you probably do not have cell coverage right now. There is some sort of massive, multiple switchboard outage that is preventing calls from being connected to the towers.

The wait time for a tier-2 customer service rep was 1 hour, 20 minutes.

[Bedtime update: Still no service, over 3 hours after I was told they were going to have it handled in two hours (which I was told two hours after I was initially told it was going to be two hours).]

Anne's Shit List

When The Stupid was conceived (on a night of drunkeness which is now some fuzzy clump of vague memories in some reptillian nook of my brain, as it is with so many conceptions over time), I had planned on a regular segment to be called "Anne's Shit List." On it would be included those who richly deserved it. Over the past six-ish months of regular-ish postings, I have failed to populate the list.

I just wanted you to know that, at some point, The Shit List may appear in these here pages.

Or not.

Oh, like Colbert's Threatdown always has bears somewhere on it, Anne's Shit List will have Drivers who Refuse to use Their Turn Signals.

I wonder how much renting a billboard costs. I think I'd like to post a "Use your F&%*ing Turn Signal" sign up at various places around town. It might get some folks' much needed attention.

More thoughts about the president's surge

To update this a little bit, I just stumbled across a NYT article that I found fascinating. One quote, in particular, leapt out at me:

“The government believes there is no need for extra troops from the American side,” Haidar al-Abadi, a Parliament member and close associate of Mr. Maliki, said Wednesday. “The existing troops can do the job.”

For all the talking last night about a democratic, sovereign Iraq, it would seem to me that the very root of sovereignty is the ability to tell another nation's military when and where they can be in your country, as well as how many of them can be there.

And the bloggers who are slavishly devoted to their president are really baffling in their demand that the Iraqi government behave the way we want them to.

They're not our children.

Knights of Prosperity

If you haven't seen this show, I highly recommend it.

You can watch it online.

When listening to the president...

I find it fascinating that he's making a list of benchmarks for the Iraqi government to meet.

I can't help thinking "or what?" What are we going to do if the Iraqi government decides to find its ovaries and say that they want a sectarian government, or that they don't want all sects to share equally in oil revenues?

Then what are we going to do? Invade the country?

I find it a great step forward that he took responsibility for the FUBARing of Iraq. It's a damn shame it took 4 years and 3000+ American lives (and heaven only knows how many Iraqi lives) for him to admit it.



*sigh*

I don't have OCD, but...

There most definitely is a right way and a wrong way to fold a towel.

I am listening to Barry Manilow at the office

I am either so cool that I don't care that people will think I am lame, or I am so lame that I am living down to people's expectations.

But, I dare you, hipsters, to throw on a little Copacabana on your iPod Shuffles, and see if it doesn't make you want to dance around your cube farm.

Or are you chicken?

An Open Letter to Nashville Drivers

We all must make a dick-like driving move every once in awhile. Perhaps some Hootie and the Blowfish came on the radio, and you had to turn it up and sing out loud, and just weren't paying attention. Perhaps you dropped a cigarette cherry in your lap and are trying to prevent full-thickness burns in your crotch. Maybe your kids are violating each other's personal space for the last time ever. I get it: we have things to do when we're driving that sometimes take our attention from the task at hand.

But...

To further compound a dickish move by not using your turn signal makes you an asshole. Guy in the Blazer with state tags on Metrocenter Blvd getting on 65 North, I am talking to you, pal.

It is one thing to drive like a dick, but at least inform other drivers of your dick-esque intentions. At least we will have the opportunity to respond appropriately and defensively.

Signs of the Apocalypse

This was in my lawn.

Today.

In case you missed my "Tale of the Tape" post below, it is, allegedly, January in the Northern hemisphere of Planet Earth. Dandelions are not supposed to be growing in lawns.

[A little aside here, as I look at that picture. I have lived in 26 states, and Tennessee is the worst, by far, for growing grass. It just doesn't grow here. And I lived in the desert, for the love of Mike, and the grass was lush compared to here. Sorry; it's a gripe that's been weighing on my mind for 9 long years, and I just had to get it out.]

Ready to unload with both barrels...

Dear readers, it has been a day, lemme tell ya! Today was a hard, hard, hard day at work, the first one I've had there yet in 3.5 months-ish I've been there. I think I muddled through it okay, but it was touch and go there about 1:30 this afternoon.

Fortunately, I have the best supervisor ever, and, in my moment of need, she suggested a round of rummy. She proceeded to summarily whip my ass, but, it was, as she promised it would be, a major stress reliever! Plus, I haven't played rummy with an actual person in so long, it was really fun. She really is a great boss.

So, I have collected some thoughts, which I will summarize in blog posts over the course of the evening.

I Love New York!

If a young woman in your life needs some sort of cautionary tale, this show is it!

Actually, it's a great caution for the young man in your life, as well.

I am both entertained and horrified!

Is reality teevee the modern version of bread and circuses? Should I be concerned that my descendants, none of whom will know my name, be horrified that I was entertained by such pablum? Well, I put it out here for all to know: they can kiss my grits! Damn kids and their noise, anyway. And get off my lawn!

What is it with broken gas lines today?

Seriously, all over the world today, gas lines were broken. Bizarre.

I have come to a horrifying conclusion about myself

I think I may be an over-share-er.

I was just talking to a new friend, and, as I was telling her about the reason I am involved in a certain civic organization, I realized that I should probably shut the hell up. I mean, she hadn't asked, and we are at work, and I should not assume that just because she's cool that she is on the same political side as me. And the specific issue I was talking about is one that is laden with all sorts of emotions on both sides of the issue, so discussing it at work should be verboten, and I know that; I am the very portrait of Appropriate Workplace Behavior.

I mean, I want to toddle off over to her cube and tell her not only that I love Michelina's Salsbury Steak, but why I love its fatty, salty goodness so much, and that they were on sale 10 for $10 at Publix on Saturday when I went to do my grocery shopping, where Li'l Stupid Girl and I lucked into 20 peices of free deli fried chicken because someone cancelled an order...

Perhaps my lack of friends is contributed to by my oversharing. Who knows. The blog really should be the place where I overshare, not in the office.

The Apprentice 6 and/or "You're the One That I Want"

Anybody watch either or both of these last night? I really want to go to Grease Academy, but somebody should tell the would-be Apprentices that desparation is the world's worst cologne.

The Reunion We All Knew Would Come

Van Halen is among the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees, which is pretty cool, because I loved Van Halen. Can't wait to see Dave, Eddie, and Sammy all on the same stage. I predict seconds of hilarity, followed by days and days of oddness.

Tale of the tape

There are a couple of numbers I found interesting today. The first was the temperature when I was on my way to work at about 6:15 or so this morning.





Yes, folks, that says 63 degrees (and I was traveling more or less Northeast at the time). Today is January 5. I live in the northern hemisphere. The forecast high was 68. It was nice, but my crocuses are up already, and it's a little too early for that.

Now, why would the weather on this day be of interest to me, you may be (or probably not) asking yourself? Well, today is my birthday. Yup, it is lucky number



And, I got an awesome pen and a business card holder from Li'l Stupid Girl. She also picked out for me the awesomest birthday card. The poem reads:

A Poem for Your Birthday "All About Farts"

A fart can be quiet,
a fart can be loud,
some leave a powerful, poisonous cloud...

A fart can be short,
or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
to sound just like a song...

A fat can create
a most curious medley,
A fat can be harmless
or silent, but deadly...

A fart might not smell,
while others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
or linger awhile...

A fart can occur
in a number of places,
And leave everyone with strange looks
on their faces...

From wide-open prairie,
to small elevators,
A fart will find all of us sooner or later...

But not all farts are bad,
this is simply not true--
We mustn't forget...

Dear, sweet, old farts like YOU!

I am the proudest mom who ever walked the planet!

From my darling husband, I received a mini SD card for my mp3 player, as well as




CSN Greatest Hits

and


Neil Young's Greatest Hits.

It's a great day, and I hope everybody celebrates!

Truth in advertising?

If only the Southy tagger could do such nice work.

Stupid Website of the Day

What a bunch of tools.

Ann Coulter and Washington Times do not disappoint with their omnipresent toolishness.

In which I actually agree with Chris Hitchens

Even a broken clock is right twice a day, and this time, Christopher Hitchens has really captured my ambiguous feelings about Saddam and his ultimate demise. In his essay, Lynching the Dictator, Hitchens argues that there are still many Iraqis who never got the opportunity for justice, and that the US "helped to officiate at a human sacrifice."

It should be known I shed no tears for Saddam, but I cringe at what my nation, and, most particularly, my fellow countrymen have become: bloodthirsty, revenge-driven fantatics.

Liveblogging take 10 and final

Ludacris is on, who I love. But he's in LA, where it is currently 55 degrees. He is wearing a down vest and a hoodie. I used to wear such an outfit when I was living in Minnesota 97 or so years ago. But it was cold in Minnesota. And I never wore it inside. Again, yet more evidence I am so not hip.

Oh, and liveblogging has been fun, and I did it without one lesson! Next time, I'll get a partner. Jeffraham Prestonian is, I think, a worthy one.

Nighty-night, and happy new year, everybody.

Liveblogging take 9

Why the Fergie hate? Again, I am totally the anti-hip, but I really am digging on Fergilicious!

Liveblogging take 8

Seacrest's New Year's resolution: To retain less water.

Now, I don't wanna go all traditional gender roles on folks, but this is a man. Men should not worry aloud about retaining water. Or maybe I'm just more old-fashioned than I think.

Liveblogging take 7

Poptart with huge forehead: her name starts with an R, but because I have no concept of what "hip" music is these days, I couldn't identify her in a police lineup, except for the massive, encephalitic forehead. She looks kind of like Cromagnon, but with better hair.

Oh, apparently, her name is Rhianna. Whoever that is.

Liveblogging take 6

First New Year's quote from Mr. Stupid Girl, upon seeing Ryan Seacrest kissing Christina Aguilara:

He's giving her a big gay kiss? I'd bet he'd rather be kissing Clay Aiken.

Happy 2007, everybody.